The waiting game continues, but I'm doing ok with it. It may sound funny, but I'm SO scared to find out the results of the pg test, that I want to put it off as long as possible. I'm SO terrified that it'll be a negative test result that I'm willing to wait as long as possible. I dont want to know if it's negative. Of course I want to know if it is positive, but when I don't know, I still have hope that I can hold onto with every fiber in my body!!!! It's like I only want to know the results if we are indeed pg so we can celebrate like crazy, but the fear of negative test makes it ok to wait bc I still have hope. Hope is a good feeling!! Does that make any sense?
5 comments:
It makes perfect sense. You have invested your heart, soul, and LIFE into this process, and the waiting only prolongs the hope.
You have clung to hope so courageously, and I don't blame you for wanting to hang on to it for just a little bit longer.
I pray you will soon replace that hope with the never-ending joy for your the little baby(ies) growing in your tummy. No matter what the outcome, your family is here to love and support you through it all. I love you so much!!
Oh Kelly! I (we all) are feeling the anxiousness with you, and we are all hoping for the pg test to show the one and only outcome we have been waiting for.
Hang in there. No matter what, you will be a mommy (in so many ways, you already are).
I love you!!!
I love your honesty...it's like you unzipped your heart, flipped it inside out and let us all see what's inside! I love HOPING. I too hope and pray and truly believe that the end of this road holds Baby Hutcheson, but I pray too that God will be with you and comfort your heart and lead you where you should go next no matter what the results are. Until then, I'll wait for what you have to share...you share it WHEN and HOW you want to. I'll be there no matter what. It's so important to me that you know you can share HOW and WHEN you want to. I don't care if I'm the last to know...I'm here no matter what because I love you...this is about YOU and David! Don't feel pressure...I can't wait to find out the results and I love checking the blog, but at the same time I know so many people are waiting and I SO don't want you to feel pressure to have to share anything! My arms and heart are open to love and comfort you with any kind of news! But, I still believe and hope. 143.
Kelly...
Never stop living your life in hope. God is there always to help you. Psalm 71:14 "But I will keep on hoping for you to help me; I will praise you more and more." And when He blesses you with your long awaited news, continue to hope and praise Him.
Kelly, you guys are such and inspiration to Tim and I. Everything you write about I can relate and it makes so much sense to me. Thank you for sharing your story and believing that God is there for us and our challenges.
Geri
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