Tuesday, January 02, 2007

The New Year!!

Once we entered 2007, David and I both realized this was it and it was closer than ever!!! We both maxed out our health flexible spending accounts so unless we plan on getting plastic surgery, we have to spend all that money which we'll do w/o a problem...probably this week!!!!! YIKESY!! It's an exciting time filled with SO much hope and of course nervousness as a backdrop. We've been doing a lot of studying, reading about the injections, medications, techniques, watching videos, etc and it's a little overwhelming, but D keeps telling me that he has a good handle on it so that makes me feel better.

I stopped taking birth control yesterday. I'm anxious to get the first shot over with bc there's been so much buildup in my mind about it and I'm ready to get it over with!! I just can't picture David puncturing my skin with a needle!?!?! I trust him implicitly; I just can't envision it!! He's been such a steady source of comfort through this entire thing and I'd be lost without him. in the past, I've felt very guilty many times bc it's because of me that we are unable to have kids, but he always reassures me that it's "our problem" and thinks it's ridiculous to feel guilt...he usually says "it is what it is" and this is our "cross to bear" while other couples have other obstacles in their lives, this is ours. So much logic in that man!! hee hee :) I'm so glad this whole ordeal has brought us closer and doused cement into our bond, bc I've heard horror stories of the opposite happening in other couples going through infertility. I can see how it's possible w/o lots of communicating, understanding, support, and extra scoops of love from each other!!

Our holiday has been great so far!! Spending time with family and friends is so refreshing. Being with my neices and nephews watching Santa come to life is so exciting and gives us so much to look forward to!! They were all opening gifts from Santa while Elvis was singing "Silent Night" and I started tearing up at that moment in time because it is so beautiful to see Christmas through their eyes and I can't wait to make Christmas magical for Baby Hutcheson.

I've purposely not made myself super busy with endless errands, housework, etc so I can just relax and do only fun stuff and not "busy" stuff!!! I keep justifying it by knowing our January will be a little crazy so I'm trying to "sharpen my saw" to get ready for that. I'm actually very excited to get started with IVF...it's weird that I feel that way bc I thought I'd be overly stressed about it, but this is the most relaxed I've felt in a very long time bc the responsibility/weight of trying to have a baby is off our shoulders and now it's in the doctors hands and the big guy upstairs!! I know it's always been with God, but David and I always were charting, temping, counting days, timing everything just so, strategizing, etc and now we're not doing any of that so it's been a welcome break!! The "own-ness" is off of us and now we're following the doctor's orders to make our dreams come true!

The $3K worth of meds are in transit to our house in dry ice right now as we speak from TN!!! They will all be here by tomorrow!! I have no idea what to expect!! We're going to turn our bathroom and refrigerator into a short term pharmacy. I'll take pix of the meds and post when they arrive!! YIKES!!

So this is how I feel today....1/2/07....leading up to the shots that will start on 1/5 so I'll keep you posted how I feel after the shots begin bc that could be completely different!! A fear I have right now is that we get to the big appt on the 5th and the ultrasound/bloodwork shows something that halts/postpones the process. It happens sometimes so I just want everything to go as planned and get this "show on the road". We are ready for the big game! Put us in coach, we're ready to play!!!!!

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