Sunday, October 24, 2010

getting our mojo

Everyone wants to know how we're doing and I have to tell you we're doing a lot of this...

We're starting to get our mojo back a bit. Lots of celebrating lately and coordinating schedules which is so nice to be able do with 2 kids! Hey, that hurricane never came we planned for. Having #2 is a lot smoother than I expected. It's not such a lifestyle change that comes with the 1st and it helps that Grady is about the yummiest baby ever...super snuggly, chill and he likes to sleep too. I swear he wakes up and yawns. I don't wanna ginx this so I keep telling people "so far so good" talking about G-money, but that's an understatement.

and when he's awake I could kiss those little eyes all day long. I can't believe how small he is and don't remember Lily ever being this little, but he's bigger than she ever was at this time weighing in at almost a whopping 8 pounds! I have to get new wings for the carseat! People see his blue blanket and pink wings and they get confused. Anyone have blue or neutral wings for the poor guy? He's starting to get a complex! lol

Oh and to see Lily with him is so darn cute. She wants to know what he's doing and if he makes any sound whatsoever she says "Dat noise?" for every single sound. He's a big grunter, snorter, and noisemaker so we hear that a lot around here. She's suuuper sweet and gentle with him, but testing us more than usual so we're definitely on our game more lately. This is normal and just a phase right?David's friend said it's like we went to zone defense and now we're man to man! Lol, so true!
She wants to put him to bed every night, but since he goes to bed later than her we let her put him in the bassinet, turn on ALL the bells and whistles on the bassinet and she tiptoes out of there shutting off the light saying "nighnigh gravy". And he's wide awake, laying there with all the music playing, vibrations going full blast, looking around like "hey, what just happened?". lol.

Lily has been very wishy-washy on her costume, tied neck and neck between a ladybug and pumpkin. Then one day she wanted to be an airplane. I think she's finally settled on a pumpkin once she laid eyes on the costume. (Thanks Erin A!) If only she was pumpkin bread, I'd eat her!

once she had it on, she didn't want to take it off. she actually asked to wear it in the shower.

Well, I'd better run to catch my cute pumpkin...this man to man defense is a lot of work. ha

life is good. :)

Friday, October 15, 2010

settling in...

How in the world do I post on top of Jen's-beautiful-I-broke-into-my-sister's-house-post? I could leave it up there for weeks or months, but then my tens of readers might start to worry. Things are going great here with our little family of 4. We're all adjusting and getting to know this special little slice of heaven who was so beautifully placed into our arms and hearts on 10-10-10!

Side Note: Can I tell you how excited I am about his birthday? I get a flutter every time I have to fill out paperwork or a someone will ask me when he was born. It never gets old. What a fun thing for him too. And Lily got the cool date of 4-4-08 so I guess it's a gift to both of them. See? Now no one feels second fiddle. :)

I had some serious-need-some-xanax-full-blown-anxiety about delivering Grady after what happened with Lily. I think it was post traumatic stress coming back, but once I entered the hospital and met our friendly nurse Julie directed us to room 11, (hello doubles?) suddenly I had an inner peace come over me that everything was going to be okay. Until then it was fear vs faith and fear was winning by a landslide. But, once I got into my special gown Andrea gave me, faith was kicking some serious booty. Maybe David slipped the nurse $50 beans to put some xanax in my IV because all was good in the world and even better when he was placed in my arms with a wonderful apgar score! Victory all around. It was such a healing process filled with joy, relief and incredible gobs and gobs of gratitude.

and there were cheers for miles...

and Grady even got to meet his new friend Ella who Andrea gave birth to and was just a few doors down from us; we both had our struggles to have our babies and prayed like crazy for each other so to have our babies at the same time, just doors from each other was divine intervention at its finest. It felt like we were at summer camp, staying in the dorms, sneaking out to see each other. Grady weighed 7.11 and Ella was a wee 6.1 so it looks like he could eat her for dessert. What a cute pair.

and Lily meeting Grady for the first time? It was beautiful. I had butterflies all morning knowing she was on her way and missed her terribly. I felt like we just went through this huge life experience without her and wanted her to be a part of it.

I knew she was WELL taken care of though. I left 8 pages of typed notes about 'Lily Care 101' for very capable people to love on her while we were away. I knew it was over the top, but once I started writing about her, I just couldn't stop. It soothed my intense nesting I was going through too. But man o man, when we need help, the troops come pouring in in a big way. IN happy and sad times; they are there. In minutes. This was our driveway for most of the weekend while we were in the hospital. We had like 10 people watching one 2 year old filling up her love cup at every turn. It was such a calming feeling to know how loved she was while we were away.

I couldn't wait to see Lily for the first time. It was like we saw the Niagara Falls without her and now she was coming up to see the Falls too and hoped she fell in love just like we had. I felt like I was going to throw up from nerves, but as soon as she walked in, we hugged and kissed and my heart was throbbing as I hugged her trying to hide the tears and show her how excited I was to see her. I purposely didnt have Grady in my arms because I wanted our reunion to be all about us and after a little while I asked if she wanted to meet her brother as my voice was cracking so much I'm not even sure she knew what I said. Then she patted my tummy and said "mommy's tummy empty. where is he?" and I pointed to him in his hospital crib. I held my breath not knowing what she'd do next and after a little staring, she said "lily hold him" and all the butterflies flew out of my tummy and I knew everything was falling into place just like it should from those few little words. I was so proud of her and fell in love with her even more which I didn't think was possible. I seriously would jump in front of a truck for these 2 souls.

and somehow we were lucky enough to bring this little guy home in his new sailor outfit from Leah which was too big on him, but oh so cute! The love is so new and vulnerable; like someone stripped down my insides and they're all exposed. But in a pretty way; not a gory movie kind of way. :)

How did we win the lottery 2x?

Could we have the next Heisman Trophy winner?

I dont care what he does in life, I just want him to be happy and fulfilled. And know he is loved by so many.

and we were given this awesome responsibilty to show him that everyday. Someone upstairs is looking down on us helping us along the way.

and I can't get enough of seeing them together. Lily is learning all about him and figuring out how he fits into this world with her. She talks to him in this little voice where she's muttering and no one can understand her, but the 2 of them. My 2 little blondies - can't stand the cuteness.

She likes to sit under his play mat with him and calls it a tent. She takes our family love cup and fills up his heart multiple times per day. I can't handle it. No one warned me about this. Or maybe they did, but I couldn't grasp the concept.

I know she's looking forward to the day that Grady can sit at the art table with her and create masterpieces while fighting over the yellow crayon. I know I can't wait. Until then, baby will have to do.

I know he's only 5 days old (wow, that sounds young), but I feel like I already know him so well; mainly his sweet little heart that is so vulnerable in this world and I just want him to always filled up with love. And milk. :)

Oodles of thanks for all of the love surrounding our bundle of joy with calls, visits, texts, emails, presents, cards and excitement for us. It's amazing to feel so uplifted by so many.

life is good.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Happy Birthday Grady


this is kelly's sister.

at this moment i feel like i just broke into the neighbor's house...and i am trying on all their clothes, eating food from the pantry, swimming in their pool and firing up the bbq.

except i have permission.

you see...Grady Wayne Hutcheson was born today.


and this is his story so far....

suffice it to say it was one beautiful day.
















Happy Birthday Grady.

You are born into the most beautiful family.

You are going to have a great life.

and beyond anything...

you will be loved.

really, REALLY loved.

especially by this girl...



Happy Birthday, Grady Wayne...


You are a miracle...and a dream come true.

aunt jennifer

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Digitally Nesting...

Seriously, can't stop myself these days. I feel like I'm preparing for a hurricane where Im going to lose all electricity, water and become a shut in. Like someone with 2 kids suddenly you can't leave the house? I remember feeling this same way before Lily was born. I'm busily getting Lily's scrapbook up to date, backing up all her videos, burning them to CD's, learning to actually "coupon" for the first time, packing and repacking the hospital bag, ironing Lily's outfit for the hospital to meet her brother, spending extra time with Lily, analyzing song after song looking for the perfect birth song, hospital favors, cleaning drawers, reorganizing Grady's already organized room, spending 'one last time' with family, friends and thinking, thinking, thinking. I think the reason why we nest is because there are so many emotions that aren't in our control before a baby's arrival that the only way to feel a little more in control is to overly obsess about little details that don't really matter.

At least that's why I think I do.

Lately, I've been watching Lily in a different light; she seems like such a little girl lately with the sentences and hearing how she sees the world in such a beautiful light. And knowing what a big change is heading her way and she has no idea how big even though we all talk about it non.stop. including her...she's showing every sign possible of being 'over the moon' excited about Grady coming and I know she will be, but I guess I worry mostly about the first weeks of settling into this new gig of a family of 4.

I'm hoping she'll be okay through all this and she'll never feel 2nd fiddle. The thought of her little heart hurting over such a beautiful thing makes me physically sick. I feel like I'm having a secret affair on her, loving this other amazing baby she doesnt know, but I feel like I know and love so much already and once Grady is actually here, the affair will become public and the shizzle will hit the fan. Of Tiger Woods/Elin Nordegren proportion. Paparazzi everywhere. Then I wonder how I'll give Grady everything he needs at the same time and hoping Grady will never feel 2nd fiddle. My parents had 3 girls and never made anyone play 2nd fiddle. How will I manage it all and still be a good mommy? I don't mean the physical work that goes into mommy'ing, but the emotional side of things. It's easy with just 1 baby because I have 1 heart so it just defaults and goes all to her, but now I have to almost divide and conquer my feelings and meld them into one ball of love. I wonder where my 2nd heart will come from? I need the cardiologist stat. And everyone says your heart grows and expands. I guess I'll have to cancel my cardiologist appt and watch the oozing heart start.

Worry is such a useless emotion. I don't usually consider myself a "worry wart" of sorts, but have been filled with it lately and it's mainly because of the unknown. I want to fast forward through it all and get to the part of the movie where we're going for a walk in the neighborhood and Lily is showing off her baby brother like a proud sister and Grady is happily cooing in the stroller. I want to skip everything in between.

Mainly the birth.

I want to skip that part.

Lily's birth was very traumatic and scary. For everyone in that room. It wasn't a 'push the baby out and snuggle in the striped blanket for hours staring at your newborn miracle' story. It was awful, scary, and the most painful thing I've ever gone through. Not physical pain. There were moments we thought we lost her, but we didn't and I keep reminding myself that. Over and over. It's easy to stuff an experience like that far, far away; which I've done a good job of doing and tried to use it as fuel to love and appreciate Lily even more the last 2.5 years. So going back to that place again is a scary feeling, but I want to skip that part; the labor, the pushing, the hospital stay and the trying to figure it all out process and jump to the finish line where we have it all figured out, but then I realize there are no finish lines in life and we're still trying to figure it out everyday.

But talking about it helps. Crying about it helps. Writing about it helps. Thinking about it helps. Praying about it helps. Not thinking about it helps. Leaning on people helps. Having faith about it helps. Knowing in my heart of hearts everything will go smoothly helps. All of which I've done or felt mulitple times so I'm getting there. I'm trying not to let a past experience taint a brand new one which is going to be beautiful and profound. And a new one.

Whew, I wasn't expecting to write all that, but feel lighter that I did. Thank you for that. Plus I can't see my keyboard anymore through the tears so I need to switch gears. I try to keep this blog upbeat and positive, focusing on all the good and blurring out the yucky stuff. But sometimes it feels a lot better to purge the negative by writing about it and then bring out the positive. Kinda like a nasty, windy, rainstorm and then the rainbow afterwards. And with that, I've been a little busy getting Lily's book up to date.

You know, in case we have a hurricane.

Every time we pass the hospital she says "Lily born dare" after telling her when we were passing it this summer. She had so many questions then and now she sees it and says it every time. Sometimes she'll mention that's where Gravy is gonna come from and sometimes she'll mention God brings babies there. She remembers all the good times from her hospital stay. I think I need to learn from her.

Man, this little girl loves her some daddy.

I don't know who likes hanging with who more?

and what more can I say about these people that hasn't been said a million times...

oh and these pictures. i could eat them i love them so much!

If the doorbell rings, Lily always guesses who it might be. She'll guess everyone under the sun and one day the doorbell rang and she said "Baby Bruda?" like we were going to open the door and there Grady would be sitting in a basket waiting with his stork. If only it could be that easy. lol

oh and the sweet, sweet memories we have of Club Med. That's an edible place too.

If lily hears a toilet flush from here to the Mississippi, you'll be sure when that person walks out of the bathroom, she'll be standing there with a fake M&M that she proudly hands to them. She literally hears a flush from anywhere in the house, stops in her tracks with big eyes, and beelines to the bathroom door to be waiting for the urinator. Hilarious. It's the little things like that I want to put in a memory box and never forget. It's the things that make Lily and her heart so special.

This girl likes to party because she'll say "cheers" for everything. We've cheer'd drinks, forks, food, bread rolls, apples or anything that is the same on our plate. It cracks us up. She makes life so much fun.

Oh and no Lilys were hurt in this suffocation. She kept putting it over her head, saying "wear'd lily doah??" and falling over laughing when she popped out.

She likes to sing happy birthday to everyone and everything. She sings happy birthday to inanimate objects like chairs, tables, windows and you can see her perusing the room looking for something else silly to sing happy birthday to. And she'll laugh harder and harder each time because she knows she's telling a joke and being funny. She cracks herself up. One day she wanted to sing Happy Birthday to Grady and another day she wanted to sing Happy Birthday to God. Be still my heart.

Oh and she likes to feed Grady through my belly button. She'll bring over fake food, lift up my shirt and smoosh it into my belly button. One time she put a real grape in there. Her baby's bottle is a favorite too. Stop the cuteness.

There are SO many emotions swirling around in my little head that I feel like I need ritalin to handle my ADD of feelings. So yea, I'm wound up pretty tight with emotions lately, but I'm starting to slow down in the last day or 2 and feel comfortable through it all and settling those uneasy feelings. Starting to let my faith take the front seat and put the yucky feelings in the backseat. Actually I'm throwing them out the window. I'm running out of steam and feel like my negative tea kettle is losing its whistle. That's a good thing.

So I settle in, savoring these last few days as a family of 3 and look forward to the future thinking about the part of the movie where we're going for a walk around the neighborhood and Lily is showing off her baby brother like a proud sister and Grady is happily cooing in the stroller.

Who needs all that stuff in between? ha

See I made a joke too. Just like Lily. I'm getting there. She teaches me everything I need to know in life. :)

Life is good.