Saturday, May 31, 2008

Kicking Kiddo...

Lily (and I) have recovered from Thursday and back to normal again. Phew!

Here's a simple video of her having play time on the mat, but oh so cute! Actually, we think everything she does is cute so you could even get video of her sleeping one time with us raving about the cuteness. lol.

How can life be any sweeter??

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Loving this life with Lily!!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Tough Day

Is there an initiation into motherhood that no one told me about? If so, I think I was initiated today! It was a tough day! I brought Lily to the doctor today because she had a lump on her right jawline. I had her 2 month appt scheduled for next Thursday which D was going to go to, knowing we have lots of questions and she would get shots. Well, I didn't want to wait until next Thursday to get this lump checked out and they couldn't move her 2 month appt up to today so I would just go twice. 2 appts. 2 copays. Not the greatest scenario, but peace of mind is priceless. I wasn't terribly worried about it, but didn't want to wait that long.

Doctor checked it out and didn't say "oh, that's nothing" like I expected him to say. He kept feeling, comparing, rubbing, not saying much and then says "hmmm" to himself. It's never good when a dr says "hmm".

Eyes welling up with tears and he hasn't even said anything yet.

He goes on to say that he finds lumps on babies all of the time and tells the parents it's nothing and sends them on his way. But, he couldnt say that to me. Tears dripping down my cheeks at this point. He was expecting it to be a swollen lymph node, but doesn't think it is because of it's "hard mass". I dont like the way this is going. I'm more focused on holding back the tears than what he is saying. I dont want him to see me cry and get distracted. He's talking, but it's like I hearCharlie Brown's teacher because I can't process what he is saying. My lone granola bar and 16oz water bottle is quickly fading and I'm feeling weak.

He goes on to tell me that we need to get it checked out right away and goes over the "could bes" and it's more than I can handle. Some are no big deal and some are big deals. He's trying to hold back the worst case scenario details, but I keep pressing. He tiptoes around my questions and I can tell he's holding back. That makes me nervous because I can tell he's concerned. Or maybe I'm just displacing my worry onto him. I want to grab Lily and run out of the office and hide in a cave where nothing can hurt her. I'm stuck in the little room. I can't escape.

He orders a sonogram for her and fear sets in. Real fear. Worse case scenarios are running through my brain and I can't stop them. I look at Lily differently and with so much more love and compassion at this moment.

Nice Nurse Stacy comes in and says they can do her 2 month physical today so I dont have 2 copays. Great news!! Except D is not there to help ask questions and hold Lily's hand through the shots. I make the decision to go through with it and it was tough. She's growing well and all is well in every department, but then the shots come. The nice nurse asks me to love on her and warns me, "she'll probably cry harder than you're used to" which I kinda don't believe because I've heard Lily wail. She's had a few shots before and her tears were manageable. Well, I was not prepared for this!! Me, being in an already extremely fragile state, Lily gets the shots (that I can't watch) and she wails like I've never heard before. I didn't even recognize the noises and faces she was making. We were both crying and trying to comfort each other.

The nurse notices my sad state and asks if I'm ok and I confess that I'm not and worried about the results of the sonogram that may take up to a day or 2 to come back. Being the heroic nurse that she is, she asks the front desk to make the appt for asap so I dont have to wait too long for the results. I was dreading the weekend hoping I didn't have to sit and stew all weekend waiting.

She comes back with they can take me downtown in one hour. Knowing Lily is just about to want to eat, I take the appointment, wipe away the tears and race downtown. On the way I'm crying calling mom and David telling them about the appt through tears as they try to calm me down. Did I mention I'm pumping while I'm driving because I'm becoming engorged. I was using the hands free pumping bra so don't worry. What a sight. Then Lily starts crying in the backseat from being hungry and pain from the shots. It was a long 30 minute drive. Felt like 2 hours!! I get to the hospital downtown, park in the wrong parking lot and have to walk/jog/skip what seems like a mile to get to the right office. We finally get settled in the waiting room and I start to feed Lily when they call for her. She's not happy. She's hungry and just wants to snuggle. I'm a nervous wreck trying to stay composed.

I lay her down on a huge table made for pregnant women getting an ultrasound and it doesn't go much better from there. They squirt the ultrasound gel (dont know if it was the warming gel) on to the probe and start rubbing it on her entire jawline to compare both sides. She's flailing all over the place so there is gel all over her red face. It's such a sad state. The technician is used to scanning large bellies and not a 22 inch newborn. Lily is such a calm baby and it hurt every part of my body to see her so upset. The technician can't tell me anything and said she wants to bring in the radiologist. I dont know if that's good news or not. He comes in, scans her flailing, gel soaked face and talks low and in code to the technician. I'm trying to read faces. I was brought back to the 2 miscarriages when we were getting the ultrasound with quiet whispers, worried faces.

The radiologist sees my tear stained face and says it is an internal hemangioma. I look at him confused like he's talking greek and he explains that she has many of them on the outside of her body and this one is just internal. Hemangioma is a big word for a birth mark. I knew she had them as they are visible and Dr. W told me what they are called. She has a large one on her head, one on the back of her left arm in the shape of a heart, one small one below her eye, and one medium sized on her back. They are harmless, will grow for about a year, then flatten and be just part of who she is. Kelle said that birthmarks are kisses babies' receive in heaven which I totally believe. After looking at Lily, it looks like she was mauled up in heaven with hugs, kisses, and lots of love. This is the best case scenario for this lump and what Dr. W expected it to be, but wanted to be sure.

Here's more info about hemangiomas:
http://www.webmd.com/skin-beauty/cosmetic-procedures-birthmarks

I want to hug the technician and radiologist, but realize they'll think I'm a freak so I change my mind. So relieved I got the results right away and didn't have to wait a day or 2. I felt my entire body relax and felt like I was going to pass out from relief and the fact that it was 2pm and I still only had a granola bar and 16oz of water in my system. I never do that so my body didn't know what to do.

Nerves are fried. Thanking God up and down and all around town.

I call David and mom to tell them the good news and drive home with a tearful baby feeling the effects from the shots, but am just so happy she's ok and feel so much closer to her after riding the roller coaster for 3 hours with her. I get home, devoured a turkey wrap from LuLu B's and try to console Lily after the rough day she's had. She's not herself right now and very teary, but she's healthy. She's ok. I love her even more because of it. If she needs some extra snuggles right now that is fine with me. I need them too.

I dont think I was initiated into motherhood today. I think I was a victim of hazing and need to report it immediately. tee hee




Here's the post that was originally here and I just wrote this update:

Enjoy her!! I know I am a little more today!!
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I'll give you one guess who took these pictures!!!?? I'll give you a hint...her name ryhmes with "jelly" and I didn't take them!! lol.

Warning: your monitor may melt from the cuteness factor!!

Thanks for all the sweet comments about our Lily Grace! Lily will someday read these comments on the blog and know how loved she is!! I don't think she'll have self esteem issues!! lol.

Kelle has a way of capturing her beauty inside and out for far away relatives and friends to see and we are forever grateful for that gift!! (oh, darn I gave away the answer)

Lily REALLY is just as sweet on the inside!!
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This makes me want to go do a load of laundry! (or not)
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This is an actual "BABY CARRIAGE" for a play baby doll!! Lily fit in it and looked oh so precious!!
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How are we so blessed?
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To see more of this awesome photo shoot, check this album out!

http://www1.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=215690732/a=8080690_17727670/t_=8080690

Life is good with Lily in it!!

xoxo

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

New Pictures...

This is the shirt (turned dress) Lily received as a party favor from Lainey's first birthday party! Kelle "HANDMADE" this shirt/dress for Lily!!

Guess who took this incredible picture??

I added the lollipops for some fun! Read the shirt carefully!! So cute!!Photobucket






Wow, this picture makes me want to take a nap!!
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This is the same picture from the previous post called "Blue Eyes" that some of you couldn't view for some reason?? Hope this is better!!
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I could eat these feet they're so sweet!!
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Even more to come if you can believe that! Kelle, thank you for capturing her magic in these pictures!!

Life is good!

xoxo

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Blue Eyes...

Just one of the many pictures Kelle took...she showed me how to edit them:) ya!

more to come:)



I could look in her eyes all day!!


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

2 Months of Heaven

She's just as sweet on the inside!! xoxo

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This is a really cool concept I found on another blog that I may just try (putting on hat and sunglasses)
http://www.hoperevo.com/

Smiling Eyes

One of my favorite pictures of all time of Lily!!

This is her 2nd scrapbook page :)

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Found this online and oh so true!!



Thirty things that change when you have a baby
by Rebecca Woolf


1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.

2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.

3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.

4. You respect your body ... finally.

5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.

6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.

7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.

8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.

9. Your heart breaks much more easily.

10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.

11. Every day is a surprise.

12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.

14. You become a morning person.

15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

And from some moms on babycenter:




1. "You discover how much there is to say about one tooth." — Ashley's mom

2. "You finally realize that true joy doesn't come from material wealth." — Anonymous

3. "You now know where the sun comes from." — Charlotte

4. "You'd rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that you've been dying to have." — Sophie's mom

5. "You realize that although sticky, lollipops have magical powers." — Roxanne

6. "You don't mind going to bed at 9 p.m. on Friday night." — Kelly

7. "Silence? What's that?" — Anonymous

8. "You realize that the 15 pounds you can't seem to get rid of are totally worth having." — Brenda

9. "You discover an inner strength you never thought you had." — Ronin and Brookie's mom

10. "You no longer rely on a clock — your baby now sets your schedule." — Thomas' mom

11. "You give parents with a screaming child an 'I-know-the-feeling' look instead of a 'Can't-they-shut-him-up?' one." — Jaidyn's mom

12. "Your dog — who used to be your 'baby' — becomes just a dog." — Kara

13. "You take the time for one more hug and kiss even if it means you'll be late." — Tracey

14. "You learn that taking a shower is a luxury." — Jayden's mom

15. "You realize that you can love a complete stranger." — Dezarae's mom

Fever

I've gotten back the fever to digital scrapbook!! It's so much fun and I really missed it!! The first few weeks after Lily was born, I didn't know how the laundry would get finished, but now we're in a little bit of a groove (that changes daily) so it gives me a little more time to be creative and have some fun with Kelle's amazing pictures she's taken of our sweet angel! I'll print these pages and compile them into a traditional scrapbook so she won't have to view her first year of life on the computer. ha ha

Here's her first month: (click to enlarge)

1 Month



Read this amazing poem that a former student, Mylin Martin wrote for Lily. I had Mylin when she was in first grade and now she's in middle school!!! She was such a sweet and special girl in first grade and nothing has changed since then!! Thanks Mylin and keep writing your fantastic poems!! We love you!!

div>WELCOME HOME BABY!
Blue is for violets,
Red is for a rose.
I spy a baby,
with a cute button nose!
Love for others,Three times the charm.
Awaiting for that day to come,
To be the first to cradle you in my arms.
Through all the days to come,
And for those that will be exhausting.
You're my little baby,
That I'll never stop loving.
I'll be here by your side.
Through it all.
To witness your first step,
And videotape your first fall.
Either dirt or daisies,
Girl or boy;
Forever and for always,
You are our every joy.
Anxious for those moments,
And all the days to come.
We give you all our love,
From your one and only dad and mom!!
WELCOME HOME LILY GRACE
CONRADULATIONS
LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER... MYLIN MARTIN

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tuesday Teaser


Kelle worked her magic again today and did another photo shoot of Lily...I truly don't know how she does it and the pictures capture her inner and outer beauty in such an inspiring way. Her pictures literally speak to anyone who sees them! She also widened my blog out so the pictures will not be cut off!! Making Lily extra large!! Yaaa!! All the "stuff" that was on the right panel was moved to the bottom. She was playing with HTML codes in front of me and my mouth was gaping open as she completed this difficult feat!! Not that I'm looking, but I haven't found something she can't do yet!!

More of this heaven to come...
Sleeping Heaven




(this was posted before the blog remodel) :)

Here's some amazing pictures of Lily that Kelle took at Lainey's first birthday party. Yes, people! It was Lainey's birthday and she managed to get this incredible shots of her best friend Lily. It was such a special party oozing with love...it was seeping out the windows!! Check out the fun... http://enjoyingthesmallthings.blogspot.com/





I can't believe our Lily Pie (another nickname for her) will be this old in just 10 months! It is not fathomable to me!!




How can someone this small grow up so fast in just 10 months crawling around, talking, feeding herself, when she's just now working on holding her floppy head up for longer than 5 seconds?? My brain can't compute!


Look at my new dress for the party! Isn't it cute? I think Lainey liked it. She even gave me a handmade shirt that said "Lily Pop" on it as my party favor! (pictures to come soon)





She loves when you hold her in front of you like this and just talk and talk and talk.




I could look in these eyes for hours!!


Lainey was nice enough to let us borrow her mommy and daddy's favorite jammies of all time so Lily wore them at the party after she showed off her new dress.



Taking it all in...

I know you've seen this picture, but I just love it to pieces!!
Can I turn this blog into a picture blog and just post pictures from now on? tee hee

I did this one all by myself!! Thanks Kelle for the tutorial today - I learned SO much!!

Lily Pie

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Thank You Colleen!!




Colleen made this incredible scrapbook for Lily!! "My Wish" by Rascall Flatts has always been our theme song to her and has such special meaning. Tears flowed each time I heard it on the radio. Well, Colleen, took that concept and RAN with it!! She managed to coordinate this huge project and undertaking of mailing a self addressed stamped envelope with the same pink piece of paper alongwith directions to family and friends to write their "wish" to Lily as she grows up. This book is 25-30 pages long people!! All of the letters are hand written and will bring anyone to tears as they read the letters to Lily. She even left a spot at the bottom for us to place a picture of that person holding Lily. I TRULY don't know how she coordinated it and pulled this off! She gave this to us when Lily was only 4 days old!! I was so emotional reading it that I could barely contain myself. I went into the "ugly cry" and it wasn't pretty. But, this book sure is! I'm starting to fill the book now with pictures of people holding Lily and it's really making the book come to life. This is a keepsake Lily will have FOR LIFE and I can see it sticking out of her laundry basket as she heads off to college!




Ok, maybe she's not ready for college just yet, but I still picture it. this idea of taking a picture next to the same teddy bear every month was from Colleen too. This was taken on 5/4/08. You can really see how they grow in a year by using the bear as a point of reference. I added the sign as an idea I saw on Serenity's blog. http://serenitynowinfertile.wordpress.com/



I told my mom about doing the sign every month and she said she did the same thing for Jen as she grew her first year. Hmmm, I don't remember seeing those for Molly and me!? Seems odd that the first born gets all the snapshots!! lol.



Thank you Colleen for making this book of love for Lily so she will know how wanted, loved and prayed for she was even before she was conceived!! We love you for doing this and for just being you!! You are so special to everyone who knows you!!!

Video

Still working out the kinks in my video camera. For some reason, it's taping clips back to back and not letting me separate them into 2 different clips. Don't you love how I blame it on the camera? "User error" I'm sure. Going back to the manual for the 3rd time.




Anyway, here are 2 short clips of Lily being Lily. She is such a little kicker and always moving her hands around her face. I can't tell if she's getting ready for a boxing match or a soccer game. It's so much fun just to sit and watch her go. The first clip is her on Mother's Day dressed in her Sunday best. We spent the day at Jen's for a fabulous, followed by a family nap, grilling out and then watching Lily's first sunset together at the beach. Perfect day.



She is such a thoughtful daughter because she got me a weekend at the Hyatt (my favorite place on earth) and even a massage at the spa there. What a sweet girl. (winking at daddy) Can't wait to go on our first family vacation together and see her splash in the pool, float down the lazy river, and lay in a hammock with me. Thinking about it is almost as fun as actually doing it!! Here are some pictures from my brain in anticipation...







The second clip is of Lily getting her first bath. Ok, not her first bath, but her first bath when she's happy. Not wailing at her clueless parents! We've finally mastered bath time where it's a happy experience for all. It was a lot of trial and error on our part, but we finally got it right. Again...user error!! teehee



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Another surprise this weekend was from Cousin Bridgid!! She flew all the way from MINNESOTA to meet Lily! Yes, Minnesota.... as in MINNESOTA!! As in F-A-R!! Now that is a committed cousin if I've ever heard of one. She spent all of her time eating up Lily and loving on her! She even babysat with mom, Jen, and Katie while D and I went on our first ''post Lily date" to Outback!! Thank you Bridgid for flying all that way to meet Lily and she just told me she already misses you!! We love you!!!






Here's another short video Bridgid took when Lily looks like Minnie Pearl with her flower headband on! Too bad there's not a tag still on it. ha

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Wordless Wednesday








Click here for more Wordless Wednesday participants...
http://www.wordlesswednesday.com

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Jordan Shines!!

My nephew Jordan was chosen to introduce his former 1st grade teacher, Libby Buck, for the Golden Apple awards program which was held at the Philharmonic in front of thousands in the audience not to mention it was on LIVE TV at the same time!!! It's a huge teacher awards program held every year.

THIS IS A VERY BIG DEAL!!!

It was a BIG night for him and he pulled off a flawless performance!! It was so exciting to see him up there on the big stage. This is something he will remember for a lifetime!! All of us will!! I think his family (including me) stopped breathing while he was speaking wanting everything to go perfectly! He nailed it!!

There is even a video of his performance after the pictures!! Jordan, we are so proud of you the young man you have become!! Katie, you are such a sweet, supportive sister and it was fun squeezing your hand in the audience as Jordan spoke!! You can read more about these special kids at http://ordinarymiraclesjcb.blogspot.com/; my sister’s AMAZING blog!!


Getting ready for the big night. Jordan is only 12, but these pictures are foreshadowing what it'll be like for his prom in just a few short years. OMG!





To know these kids is to love them. They are amazing human beings and I have learned so much from watching them grown and seeing their amazing parents fill them up with love everyday. Jordan and Katie, thank you for being such sweet souls all of your life. You have filled up so many just by being you!



Jen loves this boy with every fiber in her being! I've never seen anything like it.




Jamie is such an incredible father and would do ANYTHING for his kids!

ANYTHING!


Jen and Katie have the neatest bond and it's such a joy to watch them interact and the love just fills the room when they're together. She loves both of her children with so much unconditional love and it is evident when you meet Jordan and Katie.



Here's my cute daddy and the star of the night.

Libby and her presenter. Thank you Libby for asking Jordan to present you for this HUGE honor! You are such a special person to our entire family!





Hey, I know that girl!! I have so much love for this boy!! I feel like he's my son too!!






When did he become such a young man??

Ok, this is getting out of hand with the cuteness!! He's only 12, but he looks like he's going off to college in this picture!!!!!

I ABSOLUTELY love this picture of Katie!! She is just as sweet on the inside as she looks in this picture. Katie, you are loved by so many!!




Jen and Jamie, thank you for being such great role models for David and me on how to raise healthy, well balanced, polite, loving, kind, caring, funny, and just incredible human beings! Lily is one lucky girl to be surrounded by people like you and your kids!!

Group picture on the big night!! David was home with Lily Pie and I loved knowing they were having special father - daughter time together. I almost got a speeding ticket racing home. tee hee.

Big night equals a big celebration of a delicious McDonalds McFlurry.

Here's the video to enjoy!!!

Have your hand on your volume because you need to TURN IT UP ALL THE WAY when he starts speaking. I'm working on fixing that by taping it again, but there is a cute Lily video after his speech (I cant separate the videos for some reason) where you need to turn the volume back to normal or you'll hear my annoying sing-songy voice too loud! Trust me, you'll wanna turn it back down for sure!!:)

xoxo

ENJOY!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWoW8CzI8AU