Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Anticipation for Friday...

Officially went back to school today and it was nice to be busy and catch up with everyone. One thing that struck me as funny was that EVERYONE was talking about how quick summer flew by!! Well, I BEG TO DIFFER! This has been the longest summer of my life!! I'm usually the one who says the same thing, but this summer has been filled with SO MUCH waiting, counting days, counting hours, waiting and more waiting that the time was just "stuck in cement" as my mom said!! I tried to stay busy, I tried to not think about it, I relaxed like 1,000 people told me to do, but it still dragged on! I feel like Friday, August 10th is still 3 weeks away, bc time is not moving.
For IVF #1, this is the same u/s when we were devastated to our core and it's so scary to go back to that milestone. It's almost an anniversary of sorts. Last time was like someone pushed us off of a cliff while we were enjoying a romantic candlelight dinner. Now, in just 2 days, we're going back to that cliff to enjoy the same candlelight dinner looking over our shoulder wondering if the mack truck will plow us down the cliff again! We don't think it will, but the fear is still there and very present. I don't want to go back to that cliff again unless we can enjoy our candlelight dinner, gobble dessert, pay the check and go home! I feel like we're finding out if we're pregnant all over again! It's the strangest feeling!! I keep telling myself many mantras to stay positive, but I'm so scared of the truck. It's a big mean ugly truck with a 500lb man behind the wheel! I hope he ran out of gas last time because I can't bear to see his ugly face again!!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm praying tomorrow will bring you the peace you deserve - thinking of you everyday! Donna

stickybun07 said...

Just wanted to pop by and wish you luck tomorrow. I hope everything goes well!

Jessica said...

I am anxiously awaiting your txt msg today!!! :) Love ya!