I feel like a drug addict looking for her next hit!! A hit of reassurance from the ultrasound machine! If I could afford it and go to nursing school really quick, I'd have one in my den and have them nightly. I'd get the kind that are completely safe so my baby wouldnt come out all sunburned from the u/s rays!! Why can't I have daily ultrasounds! Or even bi-daily? Tri-daily? Are those even words? Then I could peek in on our little one to make sure he/she is doing ok and breathe a sigh of relief!!
Our next "hit" isn't until Thursday, 8/23 and I'm already thinking about it! I try not to, but I can't help it! It's almost like after seeing the heartbeat, I'm more attached than ever because I know he/she is growing and thriving inside of me...his/her heart beating right alongside of mine! It makes me more protective!! More fearful! More worried!
I love our little heart beating peanut so much already and want to wrap my arms and heart around him/her to make sure everything is ok in there! My symptoms are off and on and pretty mild. I pictured myself hugging the toilet bowl every day, but not so much. Every minute I dont feel nauseous, I get nervous. I have so much peace when I feel sick to my stomach. That usually happens right after I wake up a nap or sleeping. I cherish those moments the most. It's almost like the baby is kicking and telling me he/she is needing me more than ever.
It's hard to not be fearful, but I'm doing my best. I'm eating right. I'm resting. I'm not doing anything strenous. I'm avoiding stress. I'm praying. I'm sleeping. I'm thankful. I'm hopeful. I'm moving things around in my heart to make room for the love that I know I'm in store for. The kind I've heard about. The kind I've seen. The kind I've felt. I just dont know where to find the room because it's already so filled with our beating heart baby! I feel like my heart doesn't even belong to me right now. It's with Baby H. That's a scary thought, but an exciting one to think of meeting him/her on 4-4-08!!! Keep praying that everything goes the way it should...whatever you're doing has worked thus far!! Love you all!!
4 comments:
Kelly, I am excited to hear that everything is going well! I am so happy to see that your due date is 4-4-08, that is my wedding day (4-4-04). It already is a blessed day for me and it soon will be for you too.
Joanna:)
Just think Kelly, when our kids are old enough to have kids they will probably have a small monitor one end attached to their belly and the other to a watch size screen so they can watch their babies grow (no fair) lol!! Can't wait for you to get your next u/s. Hopefully they do a regular one this time since they found the baby so easily. I saw mine with a belly u/s at 6w5d. Love ya Donna
Kell and Dav,
SO, so exciting!!! I'm super duper happy for you both. May God bless your womb and give you peace of mind. It's so wonderful thinking about what he/she looks like and how you're going to hug 'em and love 'em. My heart smiles every time I read good news on your blog. You write wonderful and you are a wonderful mother! Love to you both, Jazzy Janet
I feel kind of like a drug pusher telling you this, but why not get a doppler? I got one on amazon for about $100. Then you can listen to the baby's heartbeat whenever you want.
-from a reader
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