Friday, February 23, 2007

My Levels...

Dr. Thompson called me today and said my levels are not doubling like they should, but they're not going down yet. They should double in 2 days, but mine only went up 10% which will not lead to a viable pregnancy, but my body doesnt know to start the miscarriage path just yet.My body is still holding onto the pregnancy, but not very strongly. I feel like it's my heart that's holding onto it and won't let it go. My inner soul won't let it go because it doesn't want to believe it's happening! I still have pg-cy symptoms which feels like a nasty trick! Everyday it will get weaker. It will definitely happen tho so no one is holding onto hope that'll it happen. We've accepted that and are grieving the loss now. He wants me to have more bloodwork and maybe an u/s on Monday. He expects the levels to go down on Monday and he'll start the miscarriage drugs then. He doesnt want to do a D&C, but hopes the pg stops developing on its own. This is all such a nightmare that I want to be over as soon as possible so we can begin to bounce back. We've received SOOOOOOO much love and support it's really unbelieveable! We have soooooooooo many people holding this burden with us and it helps incredibly!! Everyone says they don't know what to do or say, but whatever they're doing is working bc we feel so loved and supported and so lucky during this dark time! We will get through this! We will have our family. We will make sense of this. We will have peace. We love you!!

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