PHEW!

Great ultrasound again! Heartbeat at 182 beats per minute which is EXCELLENT! Will post more later, but wanted to give you the good news asap!! YAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Ultrasound Eve...

Another u/s tomorrow at 9am. I'm starting to feel like a junkie needing my next u/s fix. Am worried bc we dont have my next fix scheduled yet and am worried they'll tell me tomorrow that they'll see me in 3 weeks for my next u/s. Unacceptable! Need my hit.

It feels like Christmas Eve as I'm more than excited to see Baby H, but there is a part of me that's worried mom and dad didn't buy me the roller skates I've been begging for relentlessly! I start to feel confident and secure and then the little voice inside my head says not to. It's crazy!! I'm glad it's early in the morning so I don't have to stare at the clock all day and watch it not move!

I hit 9 weeks on Wednesday and can't wait until I hit the double digits next Wednesday! My sissie Jen used to make fun of me when my age was in the single digits as a kid and it was such a achievement once I turned 10 so she couldnt tease me about it anymore! Same applies to counting the weeks in this pregnancy!! Strange the things you remember from your childhood!!!

I'll post asap tomorrow! Say lots of prayers!! love u!

I think my other ticker site is having technical difficulties so I made a new one...

Friday continued...

So last Friday was a pretty spectactular day. It was our 3rd u/s just over 8 weeks and everything was perfect. It was the least nervous I had been before an u/s, but that's not saying much bc I was almost hurling at the others due to nerves....anyway, we're further along in this pregnancy than we've ever been and overjoyed. When IVF #1 worked and then was stolen from us, I used the analogy of going to a dealership, giving them a lot of money, leaving with a beautiful, shiny car, falling in love with it, but then having to return it 2 weeks later w/o getting our money back. Not saying a child is close to comparison to a car, but you get my drift.

Well, it was a pretty daunting feeling to attempt to go back to that same "dealership" just 4 months later and put down the same money for the same car!! Well, this time we got the car and so far the engine and motor are running great!

The irony in that analogy is that my real car crapped out last week and we had to buy a new one for real. We shopped and bought one last week, but didnt have it in our possession bc they were working on it to make it just right for us. (ie what we haggled for free during negotiations) So right after our u/s, the dealer called and said our new car had been washed, detailed, added a bunch of new accessories and was ready to be picked up. So right after this amazing u/s, we went to the dealership and drove home in my real brand new car.

As we were driving home with that elated feeling in our hearts checking out all the new gadgets, the song "My Wish" by Rascall Flatts came on. That has always been our song to Baby Hutcheson since it came out and is in his/her baby book already!! As I blared it on the brand new speakers, I looked up in the sky to thank God for all of our joy in our hearts in that moment and saw the MOST BEAUTIFUL DOUBLE RAINBOW I think I've ever seen!!

The colors were sharper and darker than any rainbow my eyes have ever witnessed!! The strangest part is that it had not even rained! It was a beautiful day and this rainbow came out of nowhere. I knew right then and there that was my thank you received and my hope and faith piqued in that moment! There is nothing like that peace and contentment in your life! I hope you see your double rainbow today in whatever way it comes through in your life!! Love you all!!!

Next up...u/s this Friday at 9am!! I'll be looking for the pot of gold in that room!!!

Perfect Ultrasound!!

Ultrasound tech told us "everything looks perfect" which was music to our ears!! The heartbeat was a whopping 158 beats per minute(BPM)!! It was galloping even faster this week!! Last week the heartbeat was 115 BPM so Baby H is really moving in there!! IVF folks told us anything over 100 is great, but online everything reads that 120-180 is average so I was a little nervous last week, but not over the top like I could be if I wanted! More tears, hugs and shock this week! It's like we're finding out we're pg again at every appt!! Such contentment!!

I wish I had a scanner because the pictures she gave us shows a clear head and body!!! It's UNREAL!!! I'll post more later beacause D and I are off to dinner to celebrate! I dont care if we go to Mickey D's to celebrate! We're sooooooooo happy!! We have another ultrasound next Friday at 9:00am! I love these weekly ultrasounds! After that, we should be able to get a home doppler to hear the heartbeat whenever we desire! YIPPE!! (skipping, doing cartwheels, handstands and star jumps throughout the house) Thanks for caring and keep praying! None of this would be the same without sharing it with all of you!!! :)

Confidently, I can post this:

Happy 8 Weeks!!

I literally feel like baking a cake every Wednesday because that is the day we add a week to our pregnancy and it always sounds so far long!! I can't wait to be _-teen weeks along and out of this ever-so-fragile first trimester!! I'm still not able to fully enjoy this pregnancy like I know a first-time-never-had-a-miscarriage-or-problems-getting-pregnant mom would, but that is because of the pain we've faced in the past and all that went into this pregnancy. That is something infertility robs from their victim. I know that is one of the side effects of infertility, but I'm really trying. I could cry every minute if I thought about it the miracle inside me, but then those tears would go straight to fear and insecurities about this pregnancy.

Many emailed me separately worried if I was ok bc I haven't posted and the last one I left off with was "Big Scare"...that wasn't fair and I'm sorry, but I've been "in the weeds" at work counseling at 2 new schools meeting 100 new people everyday. (kids and adults) I am literally exhausted when I get home and prop my feet up as I heard that gets blood flowing into the uterus. Exhausted, like I shouldn't be driving home exhausted!! I don't know if it's from the pregnancy or from being Kelly, but I like to think it's from Baby Hutcheson!!

Here are some of my symptoms:

*My nausea is on and off and more off than on, which I would reverse in a heartbeat, but it's been pretty consistent around dinner time where I don't want to eat, but force myself to.

*I've gagged a couple of times; especially when I brush my teeth!! Sometimes it's by something said and the other day, I was in the kitchen getting a glass of water and it just happened! Only once, but it was so out of my control, I felt like I was having a seizure!!

*Lower back pain in one spot keeps coming and going. Weird.

*Tenderness in my rump, but that's from D giving me the 20" needle shot every night! Ok, maybe not 20"!

*Exhausted a lot. Would sleep 24 hours if I could.

*Tender and fuller "girls"....itchy too which is odd!

*Gas and constipation. Enough said. (blushing)

*No more bleeding like before which I shouldn't be scared of, but I was. Spotting 1x a day VERY lightly and almost nonexistent. I'm no doctor, but the day of the "scare" with all the red bleeding was the only day I didn't drink a lot of water. I'm just sayin'!

*Very little appetite which is 100% unlike me as I looooooove food with a deep passion!! Dinner time is the hardest.

*Stretching, pulling sensation in my tummy area. Sometimes shooting. Sometimes light cramping, but lasts just a minute or 2. Makes me feel like something wonderful and yummy is going on in there!!

*The scariest symptom of this pregnancy is ..... vulnerability....... I feel it already! I love this baby already so much and can feel it growing everyday, while feeling this urgency to protect it all costs! Someone explained it perfectly on another blog. It's like we've been in jail for 4 years for a crime we didn't commit and we're on probation. We've just been let out of jail and are overjoyed, but worried our probation officer will throw us back in the slammer again. It's a freeing, but frightening feeling.

Our next doctor appt is on Friday at 3:20!!! We'll be 8 weeks 3 days, but who is counting? Since we heard and saw the heartbeat at our last "surprise" ultrasound, we don't need to drive 2+ hours to our next ultrasound! He released us to our regular ob/gyn in Naples!! Now we only have to drive 5+ minutes!!! YAHOO!!!

Also, we're renting a home doppler where you can hear the heartbeat anytime you want, but we can't do that until we're 10 weeks. Oh, look at that?!?!? Another 2 week wait!! Our life has turned into many 2 week waits over and over!! We'll be out of our first trimester on 9/19, but who's counting!!! I'll be off the shots and in my 2nd trimester! What a thought!! I think I'm going to have a party on 9/20! Actually, David is going to see his parents around there because he gives me the shots. I wish I could go, but dont think flying right now is a good idea with it still being so early.

I'll post right away after our appt Friday, I promise! Sorry this one post so long and sorry for the delay in posts and I'll try to be better.

PS Pssst. I have a secret. We take belly pics every week. Shhhh. Don't tell anyone. Don't want to jinx us. The probation officer might find out!!

Big Scare!!!!!

Before I begin this story, let me reassure you that everything is fine!! Got it? Everything is fine! Ok, here it goes....I'm so emotionally spent right now that I have to tell the condensed version...

So I've been spotting brown almost everyday since it started on 8/3. From what I've read, all of your stories and talking to my doctor and multiple nurses, I felt VERY REASSURED with it and somewhat comforted by it bc it was a way to know that Baby H is really snuggling in me for a fun 9 months together! No worries!! I was OK with it because it was brown in color, very light in quantity, and never red!

If I ever saw red, I would know it was the devil in my mind! Well, last night, I saw red and LOTS OF IT! The quantity and the color changed together at the same time! I was convinced it was over. Woke up this morning and more red! Like a full period red! Red clotting too so I knew it was not good. Later in the day, I peed red and knew it was time to take action. I thought I was miscarrying on the spot!! To say I was crying hysterical is an understatement!!

Remember...everything is OK now....

Called the IVF nurse AGAIN (we spoke in the morning) and she said not to worry too much bc I wasnt cramping, but the quantity change was a concern so she suggested I might want to go to the emergency room for an u/s since their office was 2+ hours away. D suggested calling our local ob/gyn which I'm so glad he did bc they fit me in to a full booked schedule when it was already 3:00ish!!!

Remember...everything is OK now....

We waited for over an hour, then went for the u/s where she asked me a TON of questions before the exam! Symptoms, spotting, color, quantity, dates, retrieval, clotting, history, you name it!! I cried through most of her questions. [Note: D&I have had ONLY TWO ultrasounds with her and BOTH ended in miscarriages with her having to tell us the bad news.] We have not have the best of luck with her to say the least.

Remember...everything is OK now....

As soon as she started the exam, the heartbeat came right up!!! It was beating away! MORE TEARS EVERYWHERE!! It was beating so fast! Then she turned on the speakers (which I was expecting at all) and suddenly we heard horses galloping through the office and I looked at D with a puzzled look and she said "that's the heartbeat sweetie". Baby H is measuring right on date and the heartbeat was 115bpm which they said is great too!

They said the bleeding is normal and coming from "implantation bleeding" where Baby H is getting nestled into my uterus hitting blood vessels and he/she must've hit a big one last night causing all the blood. They also saw another sac of fluid in the uterus which is normal and causing more bleeding. Ultrasound tech thought it might've been from the 2nd embryo trying to implant but didnt... leaving behind remnants, but Dr. T said that was ulikely (theory made sense to me). He says he sees that sac of fluid is non-ivf pregnancies as well. So the bleeding is coming from 2 places and all COMPLETELY NORMAL!!! that's all I needed to hear! He said we're not out of the woods yet (thanks Doc) and 15% of pregnancies with bleeding end in miscarriage, but I flipped it around and thought 85% succeed so that's what I'm focusing on! He said the next 3 weeks are VERY CRUCIAL and I need to take it SUPER EASY, stay off my feet and drink lots of water!! 10-4 good buddy!! If I have heavy cramping then I need to be concerned, but bleeding is ok for me.......right now I'm on my knees thanking God for another day of being pg as I'm taking this day by day!! I love you all!! Ultrasound tech gave us a hug at the end and was glad to finally give us good news!!!!!!!!

So much for the "short version"...also, I can not be held responsible for any typos or run on sentences!!!
Please keep praying and loving on Baby H!!! It's days like today I'm glad we're not "public" about our pregnancy bc it's just so many ups and downs to take such a big crowd on the ride so thanks for keeping it to yourself!!!! We love you!!!

How Much is an Ultrasound Machine?

I feel like a drug addict looking for her next hit!! A hit of reassurance from the ultrasound machine! If I could afford it and go to nursing school really quick, I'd have one in my den and have them nightly. I'd get the kind that are completely safe so my baby wouldnt come out all sunburned from the u/s rays!! Why can't I have daily ultrasounds! Or even bi-daily? Tri-daily? Are those even words? Then I could peek in on our little one to make sure he/she is doing ok and breathe a sigh of relief!!

Our next "hit" isn't until Thursday, 8/23 and I'm already thinking about it! I try not to, but I can't help it! It's almost like after seeing the heartbeat, I'm more attached than ever because I know he/she is growing and thriving inside of me...his/her heart beating right alongside of mine! It makes me more protective!! More fearful! More worried!

I love our little heart beating peanut so much already and want to wrap my arms and heart around him/her to make sure everything is ok in there! My symptoms are off and on and pretty mild. I pictured myself hugging the toilet bowl every day, but not so much. Every minute I dont feel nauseous, I get nervous. I have so much peace when I feel sick to my stomach. That usually happens right after I wake up a nap or sleeping. I cherish those moments the most. It's almost like the baby is kicking and telling me he/she is needing me more than ever.

It's hard to not be fearful, but I'm doing my best. I'm eating right. I'm resting. I'm not doing anything strenous. I'm avoiding stress. I'm praying. I'm sleeping. I'm thankful. I'm hopeful. I'm moving things around in my heart to make room for the love that I know I'm in store for. The kind I've heard about. The kind I've seen. The kind I've felt. I just dont know where to find the room because it's already so filled with our beating heart baby! I feel like my heart doesn't even belong to me right now. It's with Baby H. That's a scary thought, but an exciting one to think of meeting him/her on 4-4-08!!! Keep praying that everything goes the way it should...whatever you're doing has worked thus far!! Love you all!!

Ticker...

Look what I had enough courage to make...all this "Kelly is pregnant" stuff still feels a little strange to put on, but the doctors and nurses keep telling me it's true so I'm starting to try to wrap my brain around it. Guess I gotta start playing the part....

here's a step....



This is a ticker made at www.baby-gaga.com and it updates daily on its own!!! How cool is that!!??

WE SAW A HEARTBEAT!!!

What a relief! I feel like I just joined Weight Watchers and lost 100 pounds!!! We drove 2 hours to the appt and it felt like a 5 hour drive!! Once we got there, we had to wait another 45+ minutes which felt like 45 hours! Then we finally got in the room and David was pacing the floors while I'm sitting there half naked with paper sheet over me waiting for my destiny to be determined!! I felt like we were going to an execution and they were going to decide once we got there! Once the wand went in, up popped the heartbeat! Beating steady and beautifully! I couldn't believe that was going on inside me!

I looked over at David and we both had eyes FILLED with tears!! I'll never forget that moment when I looked at him!! Dr. said everything looked "PERFECT", "measuring right on schedule" and was the "best possible outcome"!!! Exact quotes! I love that word perfect!!!! We go back in 2 weeks and will hear the heartbeat!

He said the success rate after you see the heartbeat is 90% and then jumps to 95% after you hear the heartbeat!! 90-95% PEOPLE!! We don't get odds like that! When we started all this we were hearing odds like 30-40% success rates for IVF, then 45-50% when they transferred the grade A embryos!! Now they're throwing out 90-95% odds at us! That almost seems foreign!! I know we're not out of the woods, but it sure feels good where we are right now and I'm not going to fast forward to all the different hoops bc we just jumped a MAJOR one today and it was miraculous!!

We love you all and love celebrating every milestone, hoop, hurdle together with you!!!!!!!!

Anticipation for Friday...

Officially went back to school today and it was nice to be busy and catch up with everyone. One thing that struck me as funny was that EVERYONE was talking about how quick summer flew by!! Well, I BEG TO DIFFER! This has been the longest summer of my life!! I'm usually the one who says the same thing, but this summer has been filled with SO MUCH waiting, counting days, counting hours, waiting and more waiting that the time was just "stuck in cement" as my mom said!! I tried to stay busy, I tried to not think about it, I relaxed like 1,000 people told me to do, but it still dragged on! I feel like Friday, August 10th is still 3 weeks away, bc time is not moving.
For IVF #1, this is the same u/s when we were devastated to our core and it's so scary to go back to that milestone. It's almost an anniversary of sorts. Last time was like someone pushed us off of a cliff while we were enjoying a romantic candlelight dinner. Now, in just 2 days, we're going back to that cliff to enjoy the same candlelight dinner looking over our shoulder wondering if the mack truck will plow us down the cliff again! We don't think it will, but the fear is still there and very present. I don't want to go back to that cliff again unless we can enjoy our candlelight dinner, gobble dessert, pay the check and go home! I feel like we're finding out if we're pregnant all over again! It's the strangest feeling!! I keep telling myself many mantras to stay positive, but I'm so scared of the truck. It's a big mean ugly truck with a 500lb man behind the wheel! I hope he ran out of gas last time because I can't bear to see his ugly face again!!

Spotting

No spotting since the little I had Saturday morning. I'm ok with spotting from what I've read and after hearing from all of you as long as it doesn't get worse or turn red which I was worried about when it started.

My breathing is better too (a 2 on a scale of 1-10) so I still need to drink a lot of water, but not quite so much as I was which may have caused the spotting. Friday can't come quick enough for our first u/s! Keep praying!

Spotting Update...

LOTS of you are asking how it's going so here's the update. I had the most spotting Friday night (about a tablespoon) when I had that awful night of crying and freaking out before talking to my dr. and finding out it is normal and a good sign of implantation.

Saturday I had about teaspoon (sorry, tmi) amount of spotting in the morning when I was working in my classroom and none since!! I'm SO glad it's not getting worse or turning red. She said to reduce activity so i think working in my classroom might've brought some of it on yesterday so I'm REALLY going to try to take it easy; although that is a tough feat with school opening up next week, but I'm sure going to try.

I'm feeling a lot better today, know it is out of my hands, heard A LOT of reassuring success stories, and think of it as a good sign bc this didnt happen with my m/c's; maybe this is how my body reacts to being pregnant. I also think it has to do with consuming SO MUCH WATER on Friday!! Dr. said it's good to drink a lot of water for the OHSS, but it can sometimes cause spotting bc a full bladder pushes against other organs when it is full. I DO NOT like going to the bathroom for some reason so I sometimes put it off, but not anymore! Never did I think holding it in would cause spotting. I don't know for sure, but it's just a hunch; especially with it decreasing in quantity/frequency.

So we sit and wait until Friday, pray like crazy, and find peace that it is out of our hands, we are pregnant, we are happy, we are loved and we have oodles and oodles to be thankful for no matter what happens! Love you!!

Website

Thanks for all of you who shared your similar 'spotting' stories on the blog or via email...they really help a lot! My friend Jess found this article that helped me feel better too! Thanks Jess! Most of them have happy endings like we're praying for!! We'll know more on Friday which can't come soon enough!!!

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_spotting_brown_common_in_early_pregnancy

I've never really been pregnant for a long period of time so maybe spotting is the way my body handles pregnancy!! I never had any spotting/bleeding/cramping with my 2 previous miscarriages so maybe it's good to be different this time! Who the hell knows, but that's what I'm telling myself!!! Hope is always close!!

Btw, the spotting today is lighter than last night, but still there a little bit.

Love you all

Call from Dr.

Called the answering service and they paged the dr. on call at 7am this morning - she called me back right away. (they have 6 doctors at this super clinic) She said spotting is completely normal at this stage as some women spot their whole first trimester, while others don't spot at all.

She said I had "very impressive" HCG levels and very high progesterone levels which indicated a strong pregnancy. She said the spotting could be due to the increased amount of fluid intake I've been doing for the OHSS. She said sometimes the catch 22 is that people with OHSS are usually pregnant and the symptoms interfere with each other. Another possibility is the strong embryos they implanted are burrowing deeper into the uterus and sometimes hit a blood vessel.

She said she is not concerned at all, but would be concerned with bright red bleeding, lots of blood to fill a pad and/or strong abdominal cramping; all of which I've had none of. She said she didnt want to see me today even though I practically begged to drive 2+ hours in for u/s and bloodwork. She said having my u/s on Friday will be fine. She said to empty my bladder whenever it's full and decrease my activity to be safe.

How many times have I written, "She said" in this post!!???...haha

I feel better than I did last night, but not as comfortable as I want to! This scares the shzit out of me, but I guess I have to be patient and closely monitor anything else that happens down there. David feels VERY confident that all is well.

The irnoy of all this is with my 2 previous miscarriages (ectopic and blighted ovum) I had NO spotting, bleeding, cramping and those are the first symptoms to look for! I'm so confused!! I wish I could just sleep until Friday and get all this worrying over with!! Thanks for caring and stressing with us!!! Love you!

She said

Spotting...

I had some light brown spotting last night, but not this morning when I woke up. To say I'm freaking out is an understatement. I'm calling the dr. first thing this morning...just hope I can get a hold of someone.
Any preggers or IVF'rs out there have any experience with this. I'm 24 DPO. My heart feels like it's 400 pounds right now! So scared! My eyes look like they're glued shut from crying myself to sleep last night while D held me tight! Love you all!!

Bloodwork Looks Great

Nurse called and told me the bloodwork results came back looking great. I'm not being dehydrated by the OHSS and they told me to keep drinking, drinking, drinking water! Breathing difficulty was about an 8-9 yesterday and today it's about 6-7 so that's an improvement, but it's still not better completely. I drank over 100 ounces of water yesterday! I'll drink my entire pool if that'll help!! Just want everything to go like it should. Still hve our ultrasound scheduled for Friday at 2:15 - can you say NERVOUSLY EXCITED?! Please KEEP PRAYING!!!!

OHSS??

I have been having trouble breathing lately and it is one of the symptoms of OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome). My breathing is shallow and when I go to take a deep breath, I can't get to the point of relief. My yawns get cut off mid-yawn!! Very frustrating. They think what's happening is my ovaries are still large pushing against my diaphram. I had breathing trouble the week after the transfer then it went away magically. What a relief!! I had a week of no problems and breathing fine.

Now this week, the breathing problems are back. It's weird! It seems like it happened right after my acupuncture appointment on Monday. Could be coincidence or maybe the appt stimulated my ovaries some more. No idea. Anyway, I may have OHSS and dr. ran blood tests to see what they can find. Waiting on those results. My acupuncturist doesn't want to see me until I'm 3 months pg!?? Any other IVFr's out there know if that's customary? I was surprised when she told me that.

I have to drink a bunch of water. Then I have to track how much I drink and then measure how much I pee!! Yes, measure my pee!!!! Eww!! Sorry, TMI, but I feel safe here. Nurse said the baby will take what he/she needs to my detriment. Meaning he/she is first in line and then I come second. That is fine with me!! Somehow I think it'll be the same concept once he/she is born. Haha As long as the baby is fine, then I'm fine! I'll cut off my right arm for his/her safety!! Ok, how about the left arm!? lol. She did say that if results come back with OHSS then they may have to hook me up to an IV to get some relief?!?! WTF?? I just pretended like I didn't hear that part. They'll call me tomorrow with the results and wanna know my pee report. Weird! I'll post when I know more....

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IVF…….$12,000


Medication.......$3,000


Gas money per doctor visit…….$51


Endless Blood Draws…….$188


Daily Ultrasounds…….$243


Weekly Acupuncture.......$85


Home Pregnancy Tests…….$15.99


Finding out we're pregnant and crying like a baby…….PRICELESS

YES, WE ARE PREGNANT!! THANK GOD!! I haven't posted because I didn't want my family to find out through the blog and they check it about 15 times a day (conservative #). Our beta #'s have been strong and encouraging and we have our first u/s next Friday, 8/10. Can you say "NERVOUS"?

We will see the heartbeat at this visit and this is where we found out it was a blighted ovum last time. I try not to go back to last time and tell myself it was a fluke that miscarriages happens in 1 in 5 pregnancies, but it's still hard to go back to that cliff again where we fell off so miserably that we should've been hospitalized with our cuts, bruises, and broken hearts. Can you go to the hospital for a broken heart?

Anyway, it's an exciting time in the Hutcheson household. Everything feels a little bit lighter and life seems more meaningful. It's a beautiful feeling that we're holding onto with all of our hearts. Please keep praying that we soar through these precious first few months and throughout our pregnancy!! It has gotten us this far and we want to keep that momentum alive!!

For those of you in the IVF world, here are my digits
Beta 15DPO-216
Beta 19DPO-1613
Doubling time-33 hours

We're very happy with our numbers and hope that this luck and good blessing continues throughout our pregnancy and beyond....
Anyway, I haven't been as vocal this time around so if you're finding out through the blog, this is the reason! Not a lot of people know. Thank you for caring and praying for us!!