(Almost) 6 Month Appt.

Although Lily officially turns 6 months on 10/4, but she had her 6 month appointment today. I always get a little nervous before her appointments because of the awful shots and seeking reassurance that everything is healthy and ok. And she is. That's all we can ask for!!

He said she is ready for "solids" (even though they're a bunch of mush) so we'll be introducing that to her in the next couple of days! We inquired about her growing hemangiomas (big word for birth marks) , mainly the one under her eye because it's starting to raise a bit more and become redder...he said that one (and the others) may grow a little more, then flatten and turn flesh color. So for now, she has a Cindy Crawford beauty mark under her eye which we think is too cute for words!

Wanna see for yourself?

And in this corner, weighing in at a whopping 15 lbs, we have "Pie-Pie", which is a name I can't seem to resist using when talking to her ALL OF THE TIME!! The name just fits like a glove...





She looked at Dr. Wilson with these serious-interested-I-think-I-like-you-because-you-are-important eyes the ENTIRE time! It was so cute! She didn't take her eyes off of him the entire time!! And I didn't take my eyes off her...






They were best of friends by the end, yukking it up talking about old times...





She kept looking at D and me looking for reassurance that everything was OK. (sorry about the lighting Kelle)




She's getting ready for "solids"...more pictures to follow after her first bite. We wanted to take the chair for a test drive first...


She looks tiny in this big chair. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa Hutcheson for this chair that will have many memories and makes me oh so happy. :)

Life is Good! Even better when we're all healthy and happy! xoxo

The Bug

I've been bitten by the digi scrapping bug again! I get up early to pump before work so the house is still and quiet and a perfect time to have a scrap attack.

And boy have I ever!!

I've been working on a "Making Milestones" book so those pages are forthcoming; until then, here is a 2 page spread I made with some of the wonderful pictures Kelle has been taking of Lily. She loves her like her own and Lily knows it.





I'm about to go to bed and the house is extra quiet right now as Lily sleeps soundly upstairs in her crib, music playing gently in the background, candles lit dimly, Charley snuggled on the couch, and feelng extra thankful for everything right in my life. Life isn't perfect, but the more I focus on the right, the more there is to be thankful for.

David is out of town: his first night away from "Little Person". Thinking about him a lot tonight because he is at a funeral in Tampa for his childhood friend, Steven (the comments after the article are heartwrenching) who was hit by a car and killed tragically Saturday night. He was only 33! Incredibly sad and makes you step back and appreciate all the things right in your life. Steven was surrounded by a VERY large tight knit family and great group of friends who loved him dearly. David said the receiving line was wrapped around the block and went for 3 hours straight! There was close to 1,000 people there! Lots of tears, hugs, love, condolences, shock and disbelief. I ache for his family who will never be the same and try to restart life with their "new normal" without Steven in it. I just can't imagine their pain. So hug your loved ones extra tight tonight, tell them you love them, tell them why they're special, and appreciate life because it's more precious than ever.

xoxo

Standing

Can you believe Lily is already standing? Ok, with a little help! Ok, a lot of help!! Still cute no matter how you slice it!!







Her "future self" (props to Emma for this saying) will not believe how small she is in this jumper!!

She loves to kick those little legs when she gets really excited!!

I think I've come down with "Stretchy Heart Syndrome"! It's come on hard and fast and my symptoms are getting stronger by the day. I've looked on WebMD, but there's no known cure. Just when I think my heart is as full as it's going to get as a mom, I'll look at Lily and I can feel the walls of my heart start to stretch like elastic trying to squeeze some more love in an overflowing cup!!

I think she is responsible...

I guess she's not very happy with politics right now...

Cousin Time

Heading to the east coast this weekend to see the fam so I thought it would be timely to post pictures of last time they were here. It is so neat to see everyone welcome Lily with such open arms and know that Lily doesn't just belong to David and I; but this entire collection of people filled with family and friends who prayed endless amounts of prayers for this little one and she's finally here. To so many people, I know she represents faith and hope that anything is possible if you just believe; just like she does for her mommy and daddy!






Hey, who's back there?






Grandma made me this special dress from scratch!! It's still a little big, but I'll grow into someday soon the way I'm eating and growing!! Thank you Grandma!!




I think even Grace can't believe she's here!!






Seeing Lily with her cousins is like watching Copperfield do his magic. Katie whispered to Jen the other night at her birthday dinner, "Aww, mom she's just so perfect!" Even though she was embarrassed Jen told the table, it was a comment that went into her baby book! Happy Birthday Katie. Have fun at the Nickelodean hotel; something you've prayed and dreamed of since you could talk!!








Grandpa getting silly with Douglas. I can't believe he'll be 5 in January! We started trying for Lily just before Molly had Douglas!! WOW!! I love this picture!






One of the million kisses Lily gets when she's with family. Frankly, I need help in the kisses department because I just can't do enough of them on my own!!!






Even though Jen looks like the parent of all these kids (even of Molly who blends in with the kids-ha), I love this picture!!





Grandma loves her grandbabies with something fierce inside her!




Hey, what's all this fuss about me for?






Love this one even more!!





On another exciting note, my friend Allison is having her baby today at noon! She doesn't know if it's a boy or a girl! Please say a prayer for her today that everything goes as smooth as silk as we all know it will!! We love you Allison!! Good luck!!

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

Is this what it would look like if Lily had a twin sister?

they'd even have matching hemangiomas under their eyes...look at the symmetry!!









This is my favorite face Lily makes! She talks so much with her invisible eyebrows and adorable forehead!! I melt when I see her do this...





And this outfit has special meaning too! While trying to conceive, I never wanted to ginx myself by buying a lot of baby clothes so I just bought a prayer bear that now hangs on her crib and plays a prayer each night before bed. I also bought this outfit. It was unisex and I thought the bear on the bum was just too cute!! The prayer bear and this outfit hung in our bedroom for 4 years and were a constant, subtle reminder of what our future held if we were patient. Now we get to see our miracle in it...










and she just learned how to do rasberries...












She also reaching out and touch things while trying to pull everything into her mouth. I know this is very common and every baby eventually does it, but it's so strange when she does iIt's so exciting to see her transform into more of her future self everyday.






She also likes to talk to her special ladybug friend.








And the girl LOVES to be swaddled! And I mean L-O-V-E!! Especially by the miracle blanket. No matter how tired she is at night, she immediately open mouth smiles from ear to ear when she sees the swaddle. When I get her in the morning, this is how I find her! She goes to bed smiling and wakes up smiling. This picture has not been doctored or edited to protect the innocent. tee hee

I wrote this post and saved it as a draft on 8/20 so the pictures/events are a little old, but still a snapshot into our lives. It's oh so rich because she is in it. It's been almost 6 months and I can barely remember life without her. She's such a natural part of our lives now. She makes us laugh and AOL (aww out loud) everyday with her emerging personality.

I'm trying to keep you up to date on the blog, but finding time is much harder these days. I'm usually playing with Lily when she's awake and trying to catch up on the daily grind stuff when she's asleep. I'm still trying to find the balance in the working mom thing and it's hard. This weekend was great having unlimited, uninterrupted time with Lily and D, but a pit in my tummy started to form on Sunday knowing I had to throw all those balls back up in the air for the week and keep everyone, including myself, happy! I had a little bit of momentum in the latter part of last week, but feel like I'm starting all over trying to get my "mojo" up and running again. All this new stress is effecting my milk supply a bit so I'm trying to get that under control too.

No matter how hard things get or feel, I keep reminding myself that Lily is here, she's healthy, she's happy, and she is my reason for living each day to the fullest, trying to be the best role model possible for her! I keep pinching myself, not believing that I get to spend everyday with her for the next 18 years; And beyond if I let her go to college. ha ha. I love everything about her and can't believe there's more to come. I'm fulfilled already! She's a pretty nice, cool, & chill chick so I think this is going to be the best ride ever!! We are so blessed!!

Life is good!

Hump Day

I can't believe how emotional the last 3 days have been! I feel like I've been back at work for 3 months and not just 3 days! Work itself has been great! I feel SO welcome back at both schools with flowers, balloons, cards, emails, drop ins, etc so I definitely feel the love for sure! It almost feels like my birthday! The kids have been so cute and helping them heals my heart. I just miss Lily so darn much that it literally makes my heart ache. Playing with her after school has been harder than expected too because she's been extra cute reminding me of what I'm missing during the day!

But, the good news is she is happy, active, entertained, thriving, and oh so loved during the day! We knew Kelle would be incredible, but she has exceeded every single expectation we ever had for a caregiver! They go for wagon rides, sing songs, read books, play dress up, pretend Lily is doll, nap, bond and listen to classical music all day! It is such good "energy" when you enter her house. You can almost touch the love in the air. It's a beautiful thing. When I get the 'saddies', my mantra is "Lily is happy. She's with Kelle and Lainey" and I must say that to myself 100 x a day! That peace of mind is priceless!! Priceless, I tell you!

Here's some pictures from "Nanny K" and their recent game of dress up...I can't believe this baby is ours. I say that 200x a day!

Ok, maybe 2,000.







Life is good. (Just harder some days than others)

Heavy Heart

I have a heavy heart lately knowing that September 8th is here. Since Lily has been born, this is the date I would never say out loud and didn't want to think about. Now it's showing up on milk jugs, movie premiere commercials, upcoming seasons are starting on 9/8, and people mention it like it's just another ordinary day. Well, this date has different meaning to me.

It's the day my maternity leave is up and I have to back to work. I truly LOVE my job and feel so lucky to do what I do. I just wish I could bring Lily with me. I think she'd help kids feel better and have a jolly time being the school mascot, but I don't make the rules.

I feel like I'll be a better counselor because I'm a mom now and see things with a whole new perspective, but I know it'll be tough on me. Tougher on me than it will be on Lily. Since being in utero, we've been together all day, everyday for the last 14-15 months. Lily is an extension of me. She is like my right arm. Left arm too. Throw my legs in there too. So someone is taking away my arms and legs, sending me to work, without a wheelchair, and expecting me to be productive, cheerful, helpful, efficient and just ignore the fact that I don't have arms and legs. Hmm, don't know how I'll do it, but am trying to stay positive and make this transition as smooth as possible for my little heart.

I've been through much harder things in life; especially in my quest for Lily and I feel so blessed to be even in this situation "as a mom".

I'm a mom.

Something I didn't even know would be possible one day. I'm a mom. I'd work 5 jobs if I had to just to have Lily in my life. For years, I begged the universe to be a mom. Made deals with the universe and promised I'd handle anything that came my way. I knew when we went through IVF#2, this is what I was signing up for so now it's time to pay the piper. Literally.

I know there are a lot of things to be positive about and I say these to myself daily:

I know moms go back to work all of the time.

I know she is in the best hands possible.

I know some days will be harder than others.

I know some days will be easier than others.

I know this'll be a blip on my radar with Lily.

I know it'll be neat for David and Lily to have their special time in the morning getting ready.

I know I will get into a routine.

I know I am lucky summer fell when it did and I was able to stay home so long.

I know I have to work.

I know she feels loved when she is with me.

I know she feels loved when she is without me.

I know we are the luckiest parents to have Kelle watch Lily.

I know IVF is what got her here, but also a reason I have to go back to work.

I know I have the best job in the world.

I know I have supportive bosses who want me to put family first.

I know I have the best hours anyone could ask for working in the school system.

I know I have a rock solid support system of family and friends.

I know I will think about Lily around the clock.

I know my work will have new meaning because of Lily.

I know Lily will be fine. I really know this.

I know I'll be a better counselor.

I know I'll see life and work through a different set of glasses.

I know Lily sleeps a lot during the day.

I know I'm lucky to be a mom and even be in this situation.

I know I'm lucky to have a stable job in this economy.

I know the days will fly by because I'm so busy at work.

I know I'll get into a routine and it'll become my 'new normal'.

I know we have vacations at every turn.

I know my quality time with Lily will now fly through the roof.

I know Lainey will be such a good role model for Lily.

I know what I'm feeling is normal.

I know I will be more present with Lily when I am with her.

I know I will cry.

I know she is with family while I'm at work.

I know I'll be working without the emptiness I felt when I was trying to get pregnant.

I know it'll be hard to balance it all like I do now.

I know this will be harder on me than it will be on Lily.

I know I shouldn't look the gift horse in the mouth.

I know this will make me love her even more. (if that's possible)

I know my life is better because of Lily.

I know I'll be looking at this a lot.

I know all of this and it really helps me, but it is still really hard.

I've thought about going back to work for so long. I want to rip the band aid off already and get into a routine and have things in working order. But, that's now how life goes. Change and transition has always been hard for me. I have so much to be thankful for and I hope this post doesn't come off as complaining or whining. I'm trying to talk myself through something I've never done before and my heart hurts thinking about it.

So if you see me Monday, please don't laugh at me because I'm missing my arms and legs and don't draw attention to it. I'll be ok as long as you can wheel me around a little bit until my prosthetics are ready. I heard they take awhile to be manufactured. teehee

Can't wait to see this face at the end of everyday. My life has new meaning now...


Life is Good. xoxo

5 Months!

I wish I had an x-ray machine to take a picture of her heart to put on this blog! That's my favorite part about Lily!! It comes through in her smiles too! Thank you so much to Sally Ayers for this adorable onesie that says it all...


She looks a little "doll-like" in this picture too!



Now I see how my parents let me get away with so much growing up! When Lily is a teenager and flashes this smile at me, I'll give in to whatever she wants! Even if it's a limo ride on the last day of middle school. ;)

I love when she scrunches her nose like this when she smiles. I melt. She looks like she's about to get into some trouble here too! Still melting.


Happy 5 month birthday Little Lily! We've never experienced so much love, laughter, bonding, vulnerability, and devotion then the last 5 months. You are our miracle.

Lily Lyrics

I swear I don't make this stuff up!

Kelle's dad, Rik, found this song. It's been ordered and rush delivered to my house! Are you kidding me with these lyrics? You'd think I paid off Sara Hickman to write and record this song!

I can't wait to hold her in a rocking chair while singing this song to her!! (happy sigh)

I still can't believe she's here.

Lily
by Sara Hickman

Lily, I love you, I do
Yes, I'll always be true
I've been true to you here in my heart
Lily, I love you, I do
Yes, I'll always be true
I've been true to you here from the start

Here is your hand, it's so tiny in mine
With your eyes full of God's wonderous light
As I kiss your soft head, I will hold you so tight
While I whisper, time after time:

Lily, I love you, I do
Yes, I'll always be true
I've been true to you here in my heart
Oh Lily, I love you, I do
Yes, I'll always be true
I've been true to you here from the start

Oh, where did you come from, sweet angel of love?
You descended from heaven on wings from above
When you smile I remember what I'm thinking of
These moments, where I long to say:

Lily, I love you, I do
Yes, I'll always be true
I've been true to you here in my heart
Oh Lily, I love you, I do
Yes, I'll always be true
I've been true to you here from the start

There's a world to be shared, and so much we will do
Baby mine
And life will unfold its secrets to you
in time

Lily, I love you, I do
Yes, I'll always be true
I've been true to you here in my heart
Lily, I love you, I do
Yes, I'll always be true
I've been true to you here from the start