Looking Forward...

Next u/s is set for 9/27 at 3:00...this is a biggie bc it'll be our first u/s not in our first trimester and we'll be signed, sealed and delivered out of that fragile trimester! We'll meet with our actual doctor too so that'll be fun bc he's been there at every appt telling us mainly bad news. This time we can smile and celebrate. I wonder if he'll bring champagne? After that, I am choosing to enjoy being pregnant and not fear it. It'll be hard, but I will. I will tell the "public" after that as well. Mainly my bosses who I've not told which doesn't feel that odd bc I dont truly believe it myself....even after 7 ultrasounds!! Heard the heartbeat on the home doppler today...a whopping 172 BPM!! YAHOO!!!

I told my hairdresser last night and it felt so odd! It just popped out when she kept asking, "what's new?". After I told her, I felt like I was talking about someone else or I was lying. She was going over the top with congratulations and it was like I didn't know who she was talking to. I felt like a fraud. Like I just told her I won the lottery, but I really didn't. Then she started with the barrage of questions (names, nursery, finding out, etc) that I just kept saying, "I dont know" to. It really was an out of body experience. Maybe it'll feel more normal after 9/27's u/s. Probably not, but I'm going make myself make this real! I may even park in "expectant mother parking"...that's a BIG STEP!! I hope I don't get a ticket!! Or what if they tow away my new car? (sigh)