Monday, July 14, 2008

Happy Birthday Lily! (literally)

I love playing the "this time last year" game because it BOGGLES my mind how much can change in a year!! I don't play this game often because I don't like to live in the past and usually I can't remember what I was doing this time last year anyway. I can barely play the "this time last week" or "this time yesterday" game!! ha ha

Sometimes I actually forget all that we went through to have Lily because it doesn't seem real. It's like it happened to someone else. I actually have to remind myself sometimes. This is such a drastic change because it was at the forefront of my mind and I couldn't stop thinking about it for 4 years! It was draining, exhausting, confusing, heartbreaking, terrifying, and tested me/us in ways I never thought possible. Lily is like a magician who made it all disappear. She makes it all worth it.

Because I'm such a numbers and dates girl, these dates will never leave my mind. Lily was implanted in my tummy as a little embryo this time last year and we haven't been apart since. I remember tossing and turning the night before with so much nervous anticipation, leaving at 5:00am for the 2 hour drive to the clinic, stopping at Atlanta Bread so David could get a cup of coffee, paying $100 extra for my acupuncture session because it was on a Saturday, holding David's hand through my acupuncture sessions, then going upstairs for the "fert report" to see which embryos would be implanted into my little tummy. Sometimes people find out at the "fert report" that none of the embryos made it in the incubator and have to go home without having a transfer! Paid all that money for nothing. Not even a chance. We were both so nervous, but making jokes and very giddy trying to lighten the mood. I remember it being a very happy and peaceful day even though we had so much on the line.

Here's my entry from this time last year:
Saturday, July 14, 2007

Terrific Transfer!!
Today could not have gone better! Tears were rolling both of our faces as they placed the embryos in. It was relatively painless, but it was such an emotional moment as we saw the whole thing on the monitor. The best part of today was finding out the grades of our embryos!!

Here's how the grading system works on day 3:

First Number = Number of Cells ranging between 6-8 (8 being the best)

Second Number = Grade which they want between 1-2 (1 being the best)

Last time we put in 2 perfect graded embryos at 8.1 and those were the only 2 out of 12 with those grades so we got really lucky. The others were good too, but not the "perfect graded embryo" of an 8.1. We hoped for another 2 embryos rated at 8.1, but thought it was a long shot since it's rare and we only had 2 last time which we were lucky enough to transfer resulting in a + pregnancy.

Well, are you ready for this? Butterflies were floating around as she went to get our "Embryo Report" and guess what? The first one was rated as an 8.1!! BINGO!! I felt like we hit the jackpot knowing at least one had a perfect rating until she told us the second one rated as a

(drumroll please)


It was off the freaking scale!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The scale goes to 8!!!! OFF THE CHARTS!! Our children are already gifted I just know it!! ha ha


I didnt even know that was possible! She said it's very rare and "that embie is going crazy in there" and was VERY HAPPY with both of them to say the least!!!!!

We have 8 more embies growing right now and hope to freeze some, but the criteria for freezing embies is very tough so we're not getting our hopes up like last time as only 20% have embies able to freeze. The freezing/thawing process is very tough on those little guys (and girls) so they have to have an extra high grade after being in the incubator for 5-6 days.

I had acupuncture before and after and that was awesome! David even came in the room for the post-transfer session just to see what it was like. Today was bonding, inspiring, peaceful, stress-free, happy, exciting, relaxing, and so so encouraging! No matter what happens, we know that we did everything we can, wouldnt do anything differently, and it's now out of our hands. I think God heard all you loud prayers begging and pleading for Baby Hutcheson(s). He sure did deliver today! Thank you for your love and caring support through all this.

It was a happy day and one that would change our lives as we know it. A magical change. I had 2 down comforters on top of 4 pillows stacked into a cushiony bed in the backseat for the 2 hour ride home. The bed was so high that it was almost impossible to get into the car and my face was practically touching the ceiling of the car! They said the embryos couldn't get "bumped out", but I was still nervous. We stopped at McDonald's and I remember getting a caramel sundae because I thought the caramel would be extra sticky and help the embryos to stick to my uterus lining. Crazy, I know!

This picture is in her nursery in a frame that says "Watching You Grow" and isn't that the truth. Every baby starts as just a cluster cells, but most parents don't get to see this very first picture of their baby. I look at this picture with so much awe and amazement that it literally takes my breath away when I look at it and then at Lily. Every baby is such a miracle.

How does this..


turn into this...


God is good. xoxo


donna said...

AMAZING... perfect little girl!

Me said...

Wow Kelly... you remind me daily how precious our little girls are. Thank you for that! Okay... here come the tears.

jen said...

that is so amazing...
being able to see her from the very beginnings.

Tisha said...

I've loved reading your entries for the past few days. Lily is such a beautiful miracle of love. I feel so blessed (by your happiness) when I read about how much you and your little family has conquered.

Kelle said...

tears. i love her so. all those teeny tiny cells that turned into our lily grace...i love every one of them. i too forget the journey, but it must be going through your head like crazy lately. i'm glad we forget, but then again, i don't want to forget either. like lainey's jaundice... brett always says not to talk about it...she's fine, let's forget, but i don't want to forget 'cuz it makes her life so much sweeter.
we'll never forget, and i love that the picture of that little cell cluster has not been replaced with one of the million beautiful she's-here-now pictures. i think that should always be on her college dorm. because it reminds of it all
love you little lily grace!

Unknown said...

WOW! Amazing! The journey you and D went through, I can't even imagine. I have said this like a BILLION times, I so admire. love, and respect you the two of you. The strength, love, and courage of the two of you had/have is remarkable! Bringing life into the world is such an amazing, wonderful, beautiful thing. Lily pie is such a gift from God. She is soooo beautiful both inside and out.

Geez...I sooooooo have "baby fever". I only hope that Jason and I will be blessed with children in the near future! I pray for that every day. :o)

Sorry for such a long post!
~ xoxo

Serenity said...

she's gorgeous. Happy life-day to Lily Grace!!!

Jennifer said...

Ditto what Kelle wrote.

-Copycat Kid

PS...I love you!!

Anonymous said...

I remember reading that a year ago! It was so neat! Wow how things can change in a year...truly amazing.

dig this chick said...

wow those last two pics got me right in the gut. I am all teary up here in Montana. Look at those cells that were Lily. Every piece of her in there. So cool.

Carin said...

I, too, remember reading that post! It seems like yesterday and forever ago, all at once.

she IS a miracle!

sara said...

What a beautiful post - I often look at our embryo picture and even though I'm only 19 weeks pregnant after our IVF - I already dream of the day of putting that embryo picutre next to one of our little girl when she is born later this year. I'm so happy things worked out for you, it gives me hope!

Samantha said...

She is an absolute precious miracle!!! Who would have known that on that day you would have the most beautiful and perfect little girl a year later. I am so happy for you both. You and David were meant to be parents!

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful post... Lily sure was worth the wait.

Donna (from PA)

Jennifer said...

I was saying today that I have a hard time commenting on Lily and all that she is, all that she means to me.

Words fall short.

WAY short.

The only words that come close are these...

I love her like I love Jordan and Katie.

And I wasn't ready for that.

The only word that truly describes her is: MIRACLE.

Oh, and: LOVED.


Heidi said...

holy tear drops over here too! not sure if it is the post, the reality of the post, or all the sweet posts of ones who love lily so much.

She is such a miracle baby, but on top of that, she is soooo sweet. Her little heart and smile and coos and smiles make my heart melt. Happy Day Lily Grace. I love every little cell that makes you, YOU!!!!


Steph C said...

Wow what a great entry my favorite so far because it is a perfect ending to a new beginning! What a miracle she is just precious from head to toe and we all love her and prayed for her and dreamed of her before she was here. We love you Lily and you are so loved by so many! xoxox