Friday, January 23, 2009

Frayed Nerves

Here's a picture of what it would've looked like if they did an MRI on my heart and stomach today.

Wow, what a day! I feel like I ran 5 marathons!! Then another 2 more! With no food or water or training! Just thrown into the marathons and finished them all!

It was a tough day for everyone, but it's over and behind us.

Thank God!!


I've never said so many prayers and felt so helpless in my life. She was such a trooper the whole time and looking at us like we were crazy for not feeding her!! She got up around 8:30 and wasn't sedated until 11:30!!! Um, I don't know if you're any good at math, but that is THREE HOURS awake with no food! Not any breasmilk. Not any water. Not any juice. Not a cracker. Not a cheerio. Not a rice puff. Nothing! Then she became tired too and wanted to sleep, but was too hungry to sleep. The nurse said we should try to keep her up because the medicine would sedate her quicker.

Um, so that's THREE HOURS with no food and no nap!! Yipes!! The. poor. thing. D and I were like a comedy routine trying to distract her and keep her happy. She was such a trooper! We were like the 2 stooges trying to distract her grumbling tummy and tired eyes. The nurses thought we were nuts. I can't imagine what we must've looked like. Some things worked. Some things didn't so we went back to what worked 2 minutes previously and then that didn't work so we tried something else. We were hopping and changing gears every 2-3 minutes. Sometimes 2-3 seconds. I think we were giving her ADD in the process.

We never left her side which was good for her to have comfort in our faces, but SO HARD for us to see her so upset as they put in her IV as she flailed and cried. The nurses had to hold her down so she'd be still. Talk about helpless.

Then they gave her medicine to make her sleepy and she went completely limp so quickly. I wasn't expecting her to be so limp. She was like a newborn with a floppy head, no control over her limbs and went from fussy to completely sedated in my arms.

I insisted on holding her as long as possible so they let me hold her as we walked what seemed like miles of mazes alongside the nurse pushing the empty gurney through hallway after hallway, up and down elevators, even going outside, then inside passing hospital room after hospital room seeing patient after patient, visitor after visitor, elderly volunteers, doctors, nurses, all the while holding our entire life in my arms as I prayed, kissed, hugged, prayed, worried, hoped, loved and snuggled her little helpless body praying it was healthy, intact, and just as normal on the inside as it appeared on the outside.

Then they had to put her little innocent motionless body on a GIANT gurney and send her into this enormous tube which looked like a spaceship where she stayed for over an hour, as they snapped image after image reaching a whopping 200 images of her entire inner workings. All of her organs, her spine, her brain, and even every chamber of her pretty little heart. Everything that makes lily our Lily! They burned those 200 images to a cd and gave to us as a keepsake. Now when I say she's beautiful on the inside and the outside, I have proof!! :)

After she woke up around 1:30ish, she was like a drunken sailor looking dazed, loopy and confused. They gave her 8oz of pedia-lite which she guzzled down faster than I've ever seen her drink, then drank 6oz of breastmilk, then another 6oz of apple juice. She couldn't drink it fast enough. We couldn't keep up with her. It was such a relief to finally be able to feed her and satisfy her needs.

Now for the good news. Doctor just called with the results and said the sacral dimple is NOT ATTACHED to anything internally and poses no risk to her EVER in her lifetime!! Nor will it ever be attached. I repeat, NOT ATTACHED!! They were worried it was attached to her spine and would do funky things when she was older (Dr. Google can really freak out parents who research the "what ifs" which I don't recommend, but still did it). I feel like I just lost 200lbs after that phone call. They also scanned her internal hemangioma and it looks normal and harmless as well. There goes another 100lbs. Here are a few pictures I took with my cell phone.

Here's Lily just after the MRI. Poor thing had to have an IV which we weren't expecting. Either was she. They had to give her oxygen too after she was sedated which we weren't expecting either. She is so out of it here...

Lily has always been a little shy being naked around people so she might be embarrassed by this shot, but I think she'll forgive me. Here's what I mean by her being beautiful on the inside. Yes, this is her and we have 199 other images like this. She looks like a bodybuilder.

Here she is home in snuggly clothes still feeling a little loopy and trying to force her famous smile to daddy who is probably standing on his head at this point. I swear we could go on the road with our routine!

Once again, the power of prayer prevailed and it's because of you we have a healthy, intact, amazing little miracle who is currently passed out in her crib in the star formation with her arms and legs spread out like she's Stretch Armstrong. My little heart is so full of gratitude, relief and enormous love not only for our little Lily Grace, but to all of you who love her so much and helped to carry this weight with us through texts, emails, calls, cards, visits, home cooked meals, powerful prayers, and buckets and buckets of love that we pour all over our perfect little LilyGrace. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! We are humbled by it all and know that it got us all through today!!

Life is Good!! (flailing onto bed, passing out in star formation)


Kelle said...

My sweet little starfish mommy,
(do you remember you called her starfish when she was a newbie? cuz of that same formation?) have earned badges on your cape today. Few parents have to go through what you did, but the ones who have know that it just adds another notch onto your belt of love for that sweet little baby. I can't tell you how many times I looked at Lainey today and pictured her going through what I imagined Lily was going through...and then wanted to hug her all the more. Big relief. Drink a beer. Take a bath. Snuggle, snuggle, snuggle. Whew. xoxo

Anonymous said...

What a day - so glad it's over and with great results thank goodness. Why on earth did that cruel doctor order the iv before the sleepy medine like when Stevie had his surgery. Stevie's doctor even said "we do the iv after they're asleep more for us then for the child". Hugs and I agree have a couple beers you deserve it!

Allison Brinkley, Dietitian said...

I am writing this as Chase is singing Starfish and I have big tears in my eyes. I am so happy that everything turned out the way it did. I love you guys!

Heidi said...

your words made me feel like i went through today with you...took me back, tears...but all is well. she did so well and she is PERFECT on the inside.

i knew it (but happy the docs said so!!!lol)

loving lily and her happy heart and her mommy and daddy who i am sure looked like a two person circus show today all in the name of love!!!

going to bed with a peaceful heart tonight.

love you three.

Anonymous said...

WOW! What a day! Thank you, God for taking care of beautiful baby Lily! It's all over! He is good! He took very good care of me too! Love, Baby Reed oxoxox

Steph C said...

It is all over and everything is perfect. She is PERFECT kelly in every WAY! Sorry for you long day and horrible experience as I can't imagine having to go through that with Skye. Relax the rest of the weekend and give Lily hugs and kisses from me! She is so sweet, loveable and just perfect! So happy! xoxoxo

Grandpa said...

Sure is fun to be Lily’s mom . . . To hold Lily in your arms . . . To smell her fresh smell . . . To hear the words . . . only she can say . . . And to watch her grow day by day . . .

But darn it . . . It’s not fair that sometimes being a parent can really be tough!

However . . . it’s through these tough times you love Lily that much more . . . and today Lily can sure feel your Love!

Love Ya!
Dad & Grandpa

Leah said...

I'm so glad all went well and that Lily's insides are PERFECT! God bless you all.

Anonymous said...

First, I have to apologize. My life has been so busy I have not been keeping up on your blog like I should have. I am sorry that I didn't know that any of this was going on or you would have been hearing my prayers too. I am so glad everything is alright!!! What a day you had!!!

Second, You are hysterical! I can imagine D on his head and you passing out in star formation. Too funny!!!

Third, I am dying to see Lily's famous smile in person. We will have to connect someday.

Fourth, on a side note, thanks for taking care of my dear friend. Your thoughts and actions are very comforting to her.

Joanna :)

Jennifer said...


No more tests, IV's, withholding food, worries....


I am so happy we know FOR SURE that she is healthy and perfect on the inside. To call it a relief is SUCH the understatement...more like, we can all breathe again.

Love you, and your PERFECT sweet baby Lily!!


dig this chick said...

Oh Kelly! Wow. That picture of her after she woke is something and I love how much you love her insides. SO SO happy over here on the other side of the continental divide that all is well with your bug.

I know what you mean about Dr. Google (funny). My tongue hurts today (weird) and I am now convinced I have a yin deficiency in my liver. oy.

Anyway, much love.

jen said...

so glad it's over ... but without that experience ... you would never have known ... and THAT is often scarier.

i'm breathing a sigh of relief this morning. as i was thinking about you guys yesterday.

good news. thanks. now off to finish cleaning my house so that i can drink a beer in honor of you and what mothers everywhere go through everyday. or just drink. irregardless...i think you need one too! cheers to happy and healthy babies!

Me said...

So happy to hear the good news Kelly!
Much love,
Meagan, Jay and Paige

Jessica said...

Thank God!! I know how nervous you were for I know I would have been too!!! I am so glad everything went well & the MRI results were great! Yaheee! I bet you are SOOOO glad it's all over... HUGS to you & Lily!

Rayna said...

Seriously, I can't even imagine! It's over, Lily is perfect...and the nerves are gone. We are so happy that everything is great and there are no worries. Give yourself, David, and Lily Pie hugs and kisses. Love you all!

Cibele said...

WOW... I am go glad that results brought good news. I can only imagine how you felt. I am getting ready for Feb 25th when Lyla will be "under" as well to put tubs in her ears. Hugs to you and Lily

Tisha said...

you are all troopers! yay for hte power of prayers!

xoxo to lily!

Mary said...

Well, now we know what we have know all along - Lily is perfect inside and out. How amazing to see her tiny little organs inside her tiny little body. I love that child.

So happy you now have peace of mind-when you have it, I have it. No more worries! Never have to worry about that attachment again.

I am so happy for the good news, I can't tell you!

Love, Mom

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Kelly- I'm just checking up on my blogs and am so glad to hear that everything is normal and perfect. I'm sure that must have been such a hard thing to go through!

Jennifer said...

God is good...
Breathing a sigh of relief for you all!