Thursday, December 24, 2009

merry christmas

after 7 years of just the 2 of us, our christmas card was looking kinda stale; some years i was so sullen about sending them out because it was just us.

it was like a mass mailing to our loved ones announcing we still weren't pregnant. like somehow we were less than because we weren't a real family. no one said it. no one implied it. no one thought it. no one made us feel that way. but we felt it.

christmas was one of the hardest holidays when we were trying to become a family of 3 and if you're out there still trying, i know you've never felt such pain in all your life. sometimes i used to feel i couldn't breathe from the pain of just wanting what seemed so natural to have in life. i didn't want the winning lottery ticket. i just wanted to be a family. if you're in that place now, im here to tell you, you'll never know such joy.

one day.

your time will come.

the empty pain will vanish.

it will be magical.

i promise.

this is our 2nd year with the 3 of us and nothing makes me happier.

nothing.

i'd move mountains for these 2 people who are the reason we are 3.

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her kind heart...her happiness...her filled room...her little voice...her sweet energy has breathed life into our family and we thank God everyday for her humbling and intoxicating love. in that, i finally got my winning lottery ticket.

merry christmas

10 comments:

dig this chick said...

How sweet Kelly. And a beautiful three you are! Her left pig...how it sticks straight out...is my absolute favorite pigtail ever. Much love.

Jennifer said...

Merry Christmas to my favorite family of three...I love you more than I can ever say!!!

your Christmas card this year OOZES love and joy...just like you!!

xoxo
jc

Alexis said...

Love you guys! -The Virginia Boes

Julie Frizzi said...

Ok, thanks for making me cry on Crhistmas morning. I am sitting here at 5:00 a.m. reading this post and bawling. Your words just shot an arrow in my heart. I do remember feeling that pain in your body daily! And I remember feeling those same feelings before Erica and then my sweet hubby would make me feel better. I am going to sit here and pray this morning and thank him for my kids and all those woman who are trying to have a baby. KElly is right. Hang in there and keep believing! Thanks for the inspiration today and every day. Lily is a special gift! xoxox

Kelle said...

i never thought your cards were stale before...but compared to now, sorry...they kinda were. :o) lily just makes everything better. merry christmas!

Anna Ruth said...

There is magic in three. I'm so glad you are complete with with sweet little Lily. She is one lucky girl!

Heidi said...

she's the christmas gift that never ends!!! i love that about kids...they will always bring joy to our lives!!!! lily is so stinkin' cute with little piggy tails.

merry christmas!!!!!
thanks for hiding out beckham's harley....HE LOVES IT. i wish i could bottle the reaction...you woulda cried happy tears.

Grandpa said...

When Lily came into your life . . . I fully understand how you felt you had ‘won the lottery’. . . Mary and I had the same feeling when ‘all of our girls’ arrived . . . but many folks win the lottery every day . . . but what’s so important is how these ‘winners’ actually appreciate their winnings . . . and I can tell by how Lily is so loved by you and David . . . that your winnings are being very well spent.

Jennifer said...

Every year your cards were beautiful...because it was during those years that you and David grew as a couple and created the unbreakable bonds that are now firmly and SO gratefully wrapped around Lily Grace...what a lucky girl to be loved by you.

Love you!!
xoxo
jc

Mary said...

Her inquisitive nature, her sweet smells, her making words work, her signing (please, thank you, and I love you being the best), her little voice saying "peese", her happiness and cheerfulness, her running so fast with those little feet and steps all amount to your tiny wished for angel. The jackpot was hit with her, and, as Grandma, I couldn't possibly ever be happier for you and for our whole family from bringing Lily into it. She is such a joy to be around and I love her beyond words.
Mom