Ballet and Tap Recital

There are those big moments in your child's life that you know are writing on the slate of their life experiences. We know that the little moments of reading books, compliments, endless snuggles, compliments, talks, and silly time add up and make the biggest impact, but those big moments are like the flares that fill in the blanks in the picture on their canvas. We always tell them how much we love them, but there are those nights, those moments when it sinks in deeper than reading Goodnight Moon for the 100th time. Lily's recital was one of those big moments. I felt that lump in my throat as we got ready together.

It was an even bigger etching on her picture because she didn't think she could do it, but did it anyway and hit a home run out of the park. My head was throbbing front the adrenaline rush, my cheeks were hurting from the smiling and my throat was hoarse because I literally could not yell loud enough to express my excitement that she was up on that stage shaking her tail feather.

(guess who took this BEAUTY?)

I knew she could do it , but she didn't know she could do it.

(The studio took these images earlier in the year.)

There was so much that went into this. She started in Naples at a wonderful ballet school and made 3 friends there that made her feel comfortable and less nervous. On our way there, she used to ask if they'd be there and I could tell that made her less anxious about parting from me. Then we moved after months of being comfortable there and she had to get used to a whole new studio, teachers, and friends. That was hard for her because I think she'd climb back in my uterus and live there indefinitely if she could, but she adjusted and seem to enjoy going every week. Then in the last few weeks, there was serious hesitation in going and lots of tears shed and the teacher and I are looking at each other in confusion as to why the turnaround just 2 weeks before the recital. Holy bad timing batman. She said it was because they did a cookie dance that made her scared which was a silly dance they did where the music stopped, they all fell to the ground dramatically, then the music started back up and they popped up quickly and danced wild. I called bull honkey on it all because she was just looking for any answer to give us when we asked why she was scared.

(Thank you Jen for these images that make my heart swell.)

I thought she was crying because of the recital coming up and being too much pressure and I felt like I was on an episode of Dance Moms pushing my daughter on stage when she didn't want to. Holy quandary! We paid for the costume, my family all bought tickets and we didn't want her to quit after all this time, but what if going on that HUGE stage in front of 500 people was too much and would end her up on the therapist couch in her 20s. So the week before the recital they didn't do the cookie dance because they were short on time rehearsing and there were no tears shed. Not one. I didn't know if it was a fluke or fate had intervened, but we were heading to the big stage, tears or not.

At rehearsals, she didn't want to separate from me and didn't like the big stage at all, but once she was up there, she barely looked for me, studied her dance teacher to make sure she was doing all the right moves like all the other 4 year olds. It's my camera phone, but does the trick in a pinch.

there were 100s of kids up there, but my eyes were locked and loaded on her ready to make the reassuring smiles and waves if she even looked in my direction, but I was not needed for those couple of minutes as she shone in her glory and I couldn'tve been happier to take the back seat.

So the big night was upon us, I had read the bible of information cover to cover down to how to wear her tights, which side the bow should be on, how her bangs need to be, how make up is best applied (Say what? she's 4) and where to be at what time. David took her early because she separates better from him and she told him she was nervous, but excited. That's the best kind to be.

We took our seats and waited tapping our toes confident she'd be out there, but a nervous feeling in my tummy was worried she'd be standing with the teacher or she couldn't sway her out there. I'd be nervous and I don't have the shy side like Lily does.

But then the curtain parted and there she was. She looked so tiny up on that big stage and everyone was hooting and hollering like wild banshees. She had a health scare with her back earlier in the week (which we're praying has resolved itself) so to see her up there she was telling the world " I got this people. No need to worry about me."

Then she had a freaking solo people!! All the kids crossed the stage one at a time and did 3 cartwheels. Lily did about 9 cartwheels that looked more like leap frogs then blew a kiss to the audience at the end and I about passed out. Seriously, there's only so much my ticker can take. And I was at my limit.

My head hurts just from thinking about all this. Afterwards, we celebrated all things Lily and did a toast to her. As we were clinking glasses, Grace yells out "To Lily!!" and we roared with laughter.

Everyone who knows lily, knows what a big honking deal it was that she got up there and blew us all out of the water. Grace would be in her element up there and I think Lily learns so much from her every time they're together.

She got a medal that hangs in her room now and she is constantly taking pictures of it with her play cameras. I think someone is a little proud of herself. That makes 24 of us!

She was smiling a different smile that night...it was one of pride and humbleness that Jen caught on film.

She has never liked to be the center of attention, but I think she liked it a little that night.

She kept naming everyone that would be in the crowd and we told her we'd all be smiling, clapping and screaming her name. Jen surprised us all with coming and Dad made the trip from Naples even though he was just here what seemed yesterday. She'd recite who was and wasn't going to be there and why the ones that couldn't come wouldn't be there and then said "Wow. There's a lot of people that love me."

That my sweet lily are words I want you to recite to yourself everyday of your life. And we'll all never stop showing you just how much!