October Milestones

While we were ttc, it seemed like life moved so slow and I was always waiting for something to happen. Like I was at a constant standstill. Like waiting for the next dr. appt, waiting for the next cycle, waiting for the next surgery, etc. It was hard not to fast forward and the movie Click really helped me with that concept, but it was still really hard to be patient.

Now that Lily is here, it seems like life is just flying by like a kite in tornado and I'm trying to soak in all the moments and slow everything down to a standstill. It's a crazy feeling to think back to that turtle-like pace life and not miss it one bit because it was so raw and heartbreaking, but that time also helps to put everything in perspective knowing nothing will ever be as hard as that time.

Nothing.

Because of that, I'm finding myself actually a little thankful for those 4 years of pain and heartache. Just a little.

She makes everything okay. 19 months later, I still can't believe she's here when there were times I lost faith and never knew we'd ever have a baby. I never fast forwarded to after the newborn phase (like walking, talking, playing, interacting) so this is all new dreams fulfilled, just gravy on the mashed potatoes. In her monthly picture, she's wearing new jammies from Grandma that reads "Dance. Smile. Dream." I think those are her 3 favorite things to do. Mine too. Thanks Grams!



and our little Lils is quite the talker lately and it's blowing my mind. Truly mind blowing. That's all I can say. Asking for what she wants and what she doesn't want. Actually showing her opinions about what she likes and dislikes. (big eyes) What? in? the? World? (tried to blow up this page, not sure if u can read milestones)
Translation if u can't read above:

--Said “owl” and “moon”. --Said “Brady” and “Help”. --Blows own nose. --Said “bus” and “Doctor”. --Pats own back while coughing. --Looks for moon all times of the day. --Covers mouth when coughing. --Taught friend sign language. --Said “What’s That?”. --Said “Bi-Fi” for “butterfly”. --Said “bye-bye”. --Said “mommy help”. --Falls to the ground tantrum. --Said “purple”. --“names 10 shapes”. --Said “mine”. --Said “diaper”. --Ate entire paper napkin. --Made up sign for “help”. --Asks to slow dance.

And our little Minnie Mouse has developed a borderline obsession with Grandpa. Ever since her Halloween fall, she's wanted him and only him when he's around. Follows him around with hands up in the air saying "up, up, up" or with a book as a lure for his lap. Be. still. my. heart. The other night, we were putting her to bed as he was at the door. I was walking upstairs with her half asleep on my shoulder, nuk in, heavy breathing and body in my arms as David answered the door and letting dad in. Well, once she got one look at him, you'd think we pinched her awake because she shot her head up, THREW the nuk clear across the room like she was disgusted with it, wanting nothing to do with it, and started crying with her arms outreached towards him. Ha.lare.ee.us! After some snuggles, she was ready for "nigh-nigh", but just had to get her Grandpa fix.





in other random news, Lily was intent on stacking these creamers by herself and got these 7 on top of each other without any help from mom or dad. She'd clap after each creamer was added. We always bring her "restaurant backpack" full of special toys, but who needs those when you have coffee creamers and jellies to stack? ha


and a random picture from her teacher showing us our favorite part of Lily: (think that's Leah in the background)




I can't tell if she looks scared, busted or shy here, but it's cute either way. (no, she's not in time out jan-ha)


She pinched her finger today in the dresser and came running to me, crying hard with arms up, saying "up" with her big blue tear-filled pleading eyes looking to me for kisses and comfort. I kissed her finger over and over, held her so tight, rocking her, telling her it'd be okay, how much I loved her and I could feel her sigh of relief as the pain disappeared and she laid on my shoulder longer than usual until she fell fast asleep in my arms like a newborn. She fell asleep out of nowhere in the middle of the day and it was heavenly. We laid together, as she slept heavily on my chest like a newborn and I knew I had made everything okay in her world. I had stopped the pain and made it disappear like a magician. I had hugged, loved, and kissed all her boo boos away and she was perfectly content.

Little did she know she has done the same thing for me. Time and time again.