October Milestones

While we were ttc, it seemed like life moved so slow and I was always waiting for something to happen. Like I was at a constant standstill. Like waiting for the next dr. appt, waiting for the next cycle, waiting for the next surgery, etc. It was hard not to fast forward and the movie Click really helped me with that concept, but it was still really hard to be patient.

Now that Lily is here, it seems like life is just flying by like a kite in tornado and I'm trying to soak in all the moments and slow everything down to a standstill. It's a crazy feeling to think back to that turtle-like pace life and not miss it one bit because it was so raw and heartbreaking, but that time also helps to put everything in perspective knowing nothing will ever be as hard as that time.

Nothing.

Because of that, I'm finding myself actually a little thankful for those 4 years of pain and heartache. Just a little.

She makes everything okay. 19 months later, I still can't believe she's here when there were times I lost faith and never knew we'd ever have a baby. I never fast forwarded to after the newborn phase (like walking, talking, playing, interacting) so this is all new dreams fulfilled, just gravy on the mashed potatoes. In her monthly picture, she's wearing new jammies from Grandma that reads "Dance. Smile. Dream." I think those are her 3 favorite things to do. Mine too. Thanks Grams!



and our little Lils is quite the talker lately and it's blowing my mind. Truly mind blowing. That's all I can say. Asking for what she wants and what she doesn't want. Actually showing her opinions about what she likes and dislikes. (big eyes) What? in? the? World? (tried to blow up this page, not sure if u can read milestones)
Translation if u can't read above:

--Said “owl” and “moon”. --Said “Brady” and “Help”. --Blows own nose. --Said “bus” and “Doctor”. --Pats own back while coughing. --Looks for moon all times of the day. --Covers mouth when coughing. --Taught friend sign language. --Said “What’s That?”. --Said “Bi-Fi” for “butterfly”. --Said “bye-bye”. --Said “mommy help”. --Falls to the ground tantrum. --Said “purple”. --“names 10 shapes”. --Said “mine”. --Said “diaper”. --Ate entire paper napkin. --Made up sign for “help”. --Asks to slow dance.

And our little Minnie Mouse has developed a borderline obsession with Grandpa. Ever since her Halloween fall, she's wanted him and only him when he's around. Follows him around with hands up in the air saying "up, up, up" or with a book as a lure for his lap. Be. still. my. heart. The other night, we were putting her to bed as he was at the door. I was walking upstairs with her half asleep on my shoulder, nuk in, heavy breathing and body in my arms as David answered the door and letting dad in. Well, once she got one look at him, you'd think we pinched her awake because she shot her head up, THREW the nuk clear across the room like she was disgusted with it, wanting nothing to do with it, and started crying with her arms outreached towards him. Ha.lare.ee.us! After some snuggles, she was ready for "nigh-nigh", but just had to get her Grandpa fix.





in other random news, Lily was intent on stacking these creamers by herself and got these 7 on top of each other without any help from mom or dad. She'd clap after each creamer was added. We always bring her "restaurant backpack" full of special toys, but who needs those when you have coffee creamers and jellies to stack? ha


and a random picture from her teacher showing us our favorite part of Lily: (think that's Leah in the background)




I can't tell if she looks scared, busted or shy here, but it's cute either way. (no, she's not in time out jan-ha)


She pinched her finger today in the dresser and came running to me, crying hard with arms up, saying "up" with her big blue tear-filled pleading eyes looking to me for kisses and comfort. I kissed her finger over and over, held her so tight, rocking her, telling her it'd be okay, how much I loved her and I could feel her sigh of relief as the pain disappeared and she laid on my shoulder longer than usual until she fell fast asleep in my arms like a newborn. She fell asleep out of nowhere in the middle of the day and it was heavenly. We laid together, as she slept heavily on my chest like a newborn and I knew I had made everything okay in her world. I had stopped the pain and made it disappear like a magician. I had hugged, loved, and kissed all her boo boos away and she was perfectly content.

Little did she know she has done the same thing for me. Time and time again.

An Overdue Thank You

This post is long overdue and has been in my drafts since 10/12 if that tells you anything. Sometimes words fail me so I put it off until they come. Well they never came, but I'm still posting.

It's a post to Allison and her family in thanks for GRACIOUSLY letting us hang at the Hyatt when they were there at their timeshare for a week and then let us use their enormous 2 bedroom, 2 bath plush condo at the Hyatt since their stay had to be cut short for business for their allocated time. (gasping for air, begging for oxygen mask)

It's no secret the Hyatt is my favorite place on earth, but to be given use of the amentities for days on end and then to actually stay there makes me wanna dial 911 for help!

So it's no surprise that we spent some amazing time together and wanted to...


even Calhan was in on the fun...sweetest little baby who just smiles for miles... I don't think he has a crying gene in his body...


and little Chase was all smiles too, always kind, loving and happy just to be alive no matter where he was...



and cute Liam who loves to play and had such a sweet heart, always making sure Lily felt included




a little game of shuffleboard between Allison's dad and grandson Chase. Allison's parents have always been the coolest, nicest, most involved parents who love their kids and grandkids with every fiber in their being...





Lily was trying to be one of the boys playing football...






we traded naps in the pack n play for naps swaying in the hammock. I think this is definitely the meaning of utopia...


then up and ready to play some more...





have i mentioned she's obsessed with bubbles? It was one of her first 2-syllable words and now we know why...top right picture makes me so smile out loud.


and lots of this for everyone...


Lily loves to run around a corner and surprise you like no one knows she's coming but her....it's her little secret and she comes bounding around the corner and laughs so hard every. single. time. Sometimes she holds her belly because she's laughing so hard. Like she can't contain herself.



until she realized she was busted and we surprised her...





then there were some midnight walks where Lily follows the moon like a stalker, pointing and saying moon over and over. If the moon is behind clouds, she looks around puzzled, then waves and say "moon-bye-bye" in the sweetest little voice ever. I've never heard a voice so high pitched. It's so little and cute.




and boy does this little person like to people watch! Sometimes I wanna say "Lils, take a picture it lasts longer". The other day, a man was walking with crutches and a cast and she pointed and said "boo-boo" pretty loud. I was half embarrassed and half stunned she put that altogether.

She saw a boo boo on my foot (which still hurts btw Wy) and she "mommy boo-boo" and kissed it. Should I pass out now or later?

Then we were eating outside and a gust of wind blew napkins everywhere and she simply said one little word I've never heard her say that I couldn't believe.

(insert lots of shocked enthusiasm) "Woah"

She said "woah". I don't know why it struck me as so funny, but laughed harder than I should have and realize everyday I'm peeling back the layers of who she is becoming right before my eyes and I just love the person she is. Feeling overwhelmed lately with the disbelief that God has trusted me enough to help raise this little soul into her own person and what an honor that is. I wanna do right by her. Of course I'm proud of her, but I want her to be proud of me too.



So thank you Zimmer Family for being so incredibly warm and loving , once again, allowing us to share in your family trips, whether it be to Club Med or the Hyatt we are forever grateful and feeling blessed I became friends with Allison when I was 12 years old and how lucky I felt when she wrote at the end of her dedicated page in my yearbook the usual "Stay sweet, don't ever change, Love your 1st BFF" knowing I'd done something right in this world.